Turkey 6 : Mountains washed white..

The next place we stopped at was Pamukale....a place I like to call the biggest and most beautiful fake tourist spot ever....makes me wonder why is it even listed on the World Heritage List.



This place....is a place where the top of the mountain is washed white. THEY say that it has got something to do with minerals in the rocks. Rain falls, dissolves it in water and some kind of chemical reaction then happens, leaving the bedrock white in result.
Now...when we went there, they told us that there's lesser water than usual. Apparently, they controlled the volume of water flowing onto the bedrock...

Oh....so they do have control over the water flowing in...hmm....

If you ask me, I THINK that they somehow secretly mix in bleaching chemical in the water....let it wash the rocks, then BOOM! You have yourself a World Heritage Fake Tourist Spot...


Seeing how tourist flock to this place, kinda wished Malaysia had done something with one of our Mountains as well..
Oh, we all had to remove our shoes before stepping on the bedrock....apparently white gets dirty fast.


They even created steps for us to climb just in case we got bored of...well...a white piece of rock.


This was how the water gets directed away from the bedrock.....this was definitely man made.


Couldn't resist the temptation to stick my feet into hygienically questionable drain. Remember what I said about the bleach in water?? I could have swore that my leg hair that got soaked was a little bit blonder than the rest of my leg.....


Still....I suck my feet in the drain again. I'd risk my leg any day of the year just to get to sit beside a gorgeous lady....ehem, yes, I do think that Fang Zyin is gorgeous...


I find this place rather special....I mean, it's not everyday you get to see white mountain top that's not snow. And the view from there was just breathtaking...

You see the city down below? I didn't see any commerce buildings there....just hotels, restaurants and souvenir shops. A whole town surviving on tourist coming to soak their legs in drains near a white bedrock....it's amazing how much life a World Heritage Fake Tourist Spot can bring...


Honestly, I thought this place was just plain fun....we had a lot of fun taking funny pictures here. So, yeah, we had fun...and in this picture, we tried to express what we felt about the place..

This place is as cool as us...

Turkey 5 : Some Roman leftovers called "World Heritage"

Since I'll be cursing and complaining about the Fat Basturk a lot, I might as well post up a picture of what he loves and talk about most...


Behold!! The great Olive Tree!! All hail Olive...all hail Olive....

Now, back to the main story....

I don't think I have mention this before but Turkey gave me an impression that it is one very messed up country...why? Well, they practically have every sort of architecture of every age!! And as I listened to Basturk nag about Olive trees...I witnessed the age of men as I traveled along the road to ....ermm...sorry, forgot the name of the place...


Once again...the hotel we departed from...


Is this what they call Third World? Looks a lot like Kelantan or Terengganu to me....


View of a great town that stretches to the horizon...


Then, as if transported by time, I'm brought to the time of Adam and Eve before they ate the forbidden fruit and "became adult"...

*In the background*
"And now on your right, another meadow being prepared to plant Olives we turks are so gawd damn proud of...blah...blah...oil...blah...olive..."


Reaching our destination, I realized that I'm transported to the time of the Romans!! or what's left of the Roman empire....

Despite my lame caption for the picture above, I was actually awed by the spectacle before me. What was shown above wasn't exactly Roman ruins...but it's more to ruins of various empires. Since this is near the sea, it was somewhat an important city dealing with trade. Various empires have rendered this place to ruins, rebuilt on it, only to be captured by another empire....and this went on and on for many many years. As a result, this city became a place that possess different architecture of various empires...Romans, Persians...etc


The empires who captured this city.....they must have been poor, or they were environment friendly people because they reuse the fallen pillars and walls to build a new one. Ehem...very sorry to have misled you on "different architecture of various empires"


Look at them two.....notice how they are built from different types of stones. Oh btw, I'm talking about the two pillars behind the girls...







Of all the pictures I took, this one inspired me the most....made me feel that I must not get fat and must remain in shape even in old age so as not to block the path.....


This....this is one of the earliest blogs...written by the great Caesar himself. The text speaks of how his fat soldiers stopped the attack of enemies by blocking the pathway to the city...


The "Bibliotek"...it's said that, the library was sandwiched between two buildings, so, to make it look bigger, the pillars in the middle was built thicker than the ones at the end so as to create an optical illusion that makes it look more spacious.


The pillars on the upper level are built thinner than the bottom ones to create the same effect...


The theater....the place where many people fell asleep to some boring play.


Then Boon and Friends came along to cheer the people up...



One last look at the great theater...and with that we ended our tour at...aww shit, what's the name of the place....Anyway, it was truly a beautiful place. Being in Asia for so long, seeing all this was truly an eye-opener...never knew the world was this big. Oh, throughout the whole tour, Basturk was giving some kind explanation on the site, but I found out that I can get more info by reading the information boards posted along the way.
I once tried to test that guy by asking him about what I read from the info boards....and as expected, he don't know anything!! He said "that there's no such thing...where did you heard that from, you annoying spectacled Malaysian??". I answered by "I read it from that info board behind you, you Fat Ignorant Basturk..." He must have hated me for that as he ignored most of my questions after that!! Haha....1 for Malaysian 0 for Olive loving Basturk...

I didn't mean to humiliate our guide, Mr. Atilla a.k.a Fat Basturk but I was merely curious about how much he knows about the place as he have been there many many times...

And I regretted testing him about his knowledge....I was sorry...truly sorry.....you see, after the tour, he tortured us with more stories when we get into the bus!!!

Turkey 4 : The one irritating Fat Basturk...

Hi folks....it's me resurrected from the LAB(land of abandoned blogs). Sorry la....I had to move to another far away land, and getting internet took longer time than a bored girl on a shopping spree to finish shopping...

Anyway, without further ado....the continuation of my Turkey trip...




The map of Turkey and the route of our journey...starts from the mosque at the top left, do a counter clockwise journey and end at the mosque again...

So far in my story, we have just touched down in Istanbul, Turkey and just finished our very first meal in Turkey. The meal what just what we all needed after the long, arduous flight.....at last! We can finally explore Turkey! And what better way than to travel by bus for 6 hour plus to see the countryside(had no bullet train or domestic flight...no choice lah).



Istanbul was quite a city...lots of buildings and people. But once we got to the countryside....nothing....there was nothing in sight for miles and miles...just one long road with flat meadows along the whole way with a few occasional petrol kiosk to fill up the bus so that we can be in it longer....

Such a long journey...remember Mr. Atilla? The fat guy from the previous post? He must have felt the pressure to entertain us tourist during the 6 hour bus ride....he could have played a movie, didn't do that...he could have sang a song(I actually requested one), didn't do that...he could have provided us tips on how to shop in Turkey, didn't do that too....BUT, he was instead compelled to tell us about what a great nation Turkey is. So, he talked....about how Turkey is a self sufficient country...not importing any goods other than petroleum...have a lot of Olive oil...Cherry...Orange...Beets...
Every gawd damn field we pass by, he will start blabbering

"Now look on your right, this is an olive field..we Turks are proud of our Olive produces.....Olive can be used as....blah blah blah...."

"Now, look on your left, see those sheep? They are harvested for meat and wool. Collected wool would be used to make the 'world famous' Turkish Carpet...the carpet is blah...blah..blah..."

"Now, look at your right again...are you looking? You better look at your right...Now that's also a Oliv....hey, I said look right! HEY!! Keep that speaker on! It is on? Make sure it's on...please listen to me nag about what a great country Turkey is...I said we don't import anything except oil!! hahaha...now we are passing another Olive plantation...blah...blah..."

AARRRGGHHHH....would you just shut up!! You fat annoying Basturk!! As if the bus ride isn't enough a torture, he had us listen to him lecture and nag about what a "great nation" Turkey is...haih...you can't imagine how relieve I was when he said we're reaching our destination and that he have to stop talking...whew...


Finally reaching a ferry port after many hours...the view of the sea was a soothing sight for my sore ass and now bleeding eardrums....Will be continuing our journey by ferry from here...


Originally wanted to take the picture of the Japanese chic in front of Li Jia.....but Li Jia started posing, so I had to take her...

We were in the bus for a long long time(Okay Randy, we got it, stop repeating!!). And we all had a little too much drink and had to take a leak....so...


Can't find a better place to piss at! haha....Geli bo lu?? Anyway, they charged us 50 yen just to use the toilet...


Taken atop the ferry...wished I had a better camera that time...


Reached this hotel very late at night...the first night in Turkey was spent here....in case you are wondering, night time in Turkey is not bright like daytime in the pic(duh..)...this was taken the next day...


The toilet inside the hotel rooms....had to admit that this two bowl setting took me by surprise as I wasn't sure what to do with the left bowl......was I suppose to wash there after shitting on the right one? or was it the other way round? Damn.....it was quite a while before realizing that I'm in an Islamic country. Seems that the left one is used to wash feet before prayers....duh..


The all famous Turkish bath....you pay to bath a naked lady. WOW!!! I could be the owner of that hand pouring water on that naked lady!!!

The bed felt very very comfortable for some reason that night.....especially after a hot shower. Must be because we haven't bathe for 3 days and not slept on a proper bed for 2 nights. Woke up feeling very fresh the next morning...had a hearty breakfast, packed my bags, headed outside smiling, looking forward to the day that awaits me....then I saw the Basturk and realized I have to spend another 4 hours listening to him nag again...

NOOOOoooooo.....

Turkey 3 : Beginning of the long bus ride....

So far in my journey to the west, I've survived Witches of the Western Skies....only to be surrounded by big bullies in military fatigues and guns.

After enduring a few agonizingly boring hours at the gas chamber, it was quite a relieve to be able to face the Uzbekistan Airway's flight attendants again. Once seated, my brains instantly started thinking up possibilities of how to defy and win over the Witches of th.....wait a minute, my be my crazy imagination but...these stewardesses are thin!! And one of them actually spoke and smiled!!!

ショック！！！
（SHOCK!!!)

The in-flight service this time was very good....surprisingly disappointing. I was anticipating a horrible service but they manage to give me a decent service with a few smiles and the usual "Coffee or Tea", then gently settling them down on my tray. Because of their good service, I have nothing else to write here about them....craps....
Allow me to correct myself here. Ehem...Uzbekistan Airways isn't all rotten eggs and sour fruits.....they have pretty good service too. =)

Anyway, we reached Istanbul, Turkey a few hours later. Met up with our local tour guide, Mr. Atilla. He was quite a plump fellow....a good man though. At first, he was a pleasant presence...but he later turn out to be the most irritating piece of lard on the bus. Shall talk about him more in later chapters...


Yup, Atilla is the fat, balding nice looking old man...


The local tour company that we engaged in...

When we got to the bus, all of us walked on the left side of the bus in order to board the bus. Was quite confused at first as there was no door...took me a while to realize that they drive on the right side in Turkey.


In case you are wondering, only us Malaysians took photo of the bus...door-on-the-right bus failed to impress the Japanese.

I'll just cut the crap and show pictures here...


Turkey seems to have a lot of flats around. Well, exactly the term "pigeon hole"(Americans call them that)....just that no pigeons, but turkeys live in them.


Streets of Istanbul....


The city is surprisingly flat....buildings stretching across the horizon. Interesting thing that they don't go beyond 4,5 storeys high.


No, this is not a school nor a government building. They just have flags everywhere...is it the law? To me it's just plain narcissism...



Amidst new buildings, old ruins of the Roman times still remains...above is the walls of Constantinople and the Aqueducts.


We headed to a restaurant which was directly under the old walls....


1st meal in Turkey. Tomato soup and bread..


Next was some kind of grilled fish, chips and rice...

The thing about food culture in Turkey, they come in 3 courses. Starters is always soup, bread and salad. Then the main, which is rice with meat....as for areas near the sea, fish. Last will be dessert. Interesting that they eat both bread and rice....both must be their staple food. As expected of a country where "East meets West". Here I want to do a special mention of their rice...they don't cook plain white rice, it's always rice with some kind of spice or beans. Very fragrant and nice. Best rice I've ever had in my life...

After the meal was the beginning of our very very long ride on the bus.....about 6 hours...maybe more. Sigh....and that's when we found out what's Mr. Atilla's "special talent" is....tell you more soon.

Turkey 2 : Enter the Refugee Camp.

Fellow readers...very sorry for not updating....You see, The Uzbekistan Government found out that I've been writing bad stuff about them. So, they hacked into Japan's Utility system and cut off electricity and internet connection to my room last Friday till today. I had to suffer living without internet for 3 days and one whole day without heat and light....

Bloody Uzbek's...that's not gonna stop me!! I'm writing more about you!! BWAH HAH HAA HA ....

Ehem.....now, where was I?

Ah, yes...the witches....as if to complement the bad in-flight service, the pilot gave the worst landing I've ever experience in my life. He landed...I think he landed like the way the food was dumped on my tray. As long as my history of flying, never once I felt the fear of crashing until...well, until the pilot made touchdown at Tashkent, Uzbekistan.

Man...was I glad to step on firm ground again after the rough ride I had. But that relieve lasted only for a while as it dreaded me to think that I'm there for transfer and I have to board the same plane again to get to Turkey! Sigh...

"You can only stay warm for so long when you pee in your pants"

Anyway, as soon as we touched down, we were all herded into a little ass bus to be transported to the Customs. They don't seem to have a proper walkway that connects the plane to the main building...they use shuttle bus. Hehe....pity them Japanese passengers who were not used to all this. Most of them were complaining all the way to the main buliding..

First impression I got when I got off the little ass bus was...Wow. They actually have a proper building!! Photography was not allowed so no picture here...but the building looked somewhat like European architecture...tall, wide pillars made of marble supporting a tiled roof. And so I thought..."Wow, not bad for Uzbekistan...after all I've heard and read about this country!" But suddenly, I heard the sound of padlocks locking behind me....turned around to find a tall, unsmilling military personnel locking the doors behind me!! And in front of me, passports were being inspected and people were being led into some hall.....Shit!! We were all being led to the gas chambers!!

NOOooooo........

"Show them your passport, then you can go in and rest while waiting for our plane to ready."....said a smiling bottle of soy sauce(remember soy sauce? mentioned her in my first previous ...she's our guide's nickname). And at once I calmed down....wow, she really is a good person. She actually sensed our anxiety and came over to talk to us....yeah, you could say that she was the lone loving angel in the devil's den. I think that's the time when Chin Wooi fell in love with her.

Had my passport processed by another unsmiling, rude chap. Made me wonder, were they all sent to a special camp where they had to throw away all their humane instincts, then trained to be rude and bitter...then only can they be flight attendant,/customs official/etc...Well, either that or they were ordered not to smile and be friendly or else be shot.


The halls....looks like everyone got gassed, right?


Are they....dead? Were they the first to gassed, then left to rot and infect us with some terrible plague? Are they....darn, just sleeping.....haiya....what an anticlimax.

Entered the halls, the atmosphere was....it's just so gawd damn depressing! No one spoke anything, tired folks sleeping all over on the floor...all the officials had the look like they want to kill me or just beat me up for fun. First time I've ever entered a place like this and it's all quite shocking and uneasy....makes even a graveyard look warm and inviting.

About the folks who were there, I realised that there were a lot of Punjabis around....hmm, India must be nearby!(here you can either marvel at my geography or just laugh at my stupidity). Anyway, someone was playing some Punjab song on the radio....hah, nice try to cheer up the atmosphere, but too bad there are no banana tree nearby to dance around.


Says.."HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT"...haha, at least the Uzbeks syill have a sense of humour.

After waiting a depressing 3/4 hours, we got our boarding passes and headed to board the plane. Yes, the little ass bus ride to the plane once again. We reached the plane only to be greeted by a few soldiers wielding AK-47, MP5 Navy and an unsmiling guy dressed up like a secret service agent holding a walkie talkie....


See that guy in his fatigues? looks like he's planning to hijack the plane....

The Japanese, having slept in the gas chambers, were fully awake by this time and each one of them instinctively reached for their cameras and proceeded to take a picture of the unsmiling military personnel and plane....they were seriously warned by some red-faced frowning guy....photography prohibited. Pity the Japanese who were denied the very thing they were borned to do......unable to take ant picture, could easily see that most of them are not used to the situation. Even I am not used to the situation, I mean, who places military personnel with machine guns and secret service agent before a plane? Freaks!!

Hmm...maybe they received news of a crappious blogger and wanted to apprehend that guy before he does any damage......GASP!! Must warn him...

Turkey 1 : Journey to the West

"In order to reach heaven, one must first journey through hell."

Ever heard that phrase? No? Well, you can quote me on that!

I know most of you have heard of the ancient Chinese tale "Journey through the West". The story about a monk, a monkey, a pig and a water demon who journeyed to the west to search for a scroll of some sort. And in their journey, they met all kinds of demons and beasts which tried to kill, seduce, eat them. Me, being a proud Chinese who can only command simple Mandarin and an even simpler Cantonese, decided to follow the holy monk's work and undergo a journey of my own.

My journey to the west took me to the far away lands of Turkey, home of kebab and belly dancers. Along with me on this sacred journey are...


From left:
Me, misunderstood for being a tough scary guy all the time..
Loke Eng, had a sore throat, lost his voice and had to suffer my cruel jokes..
Li Jia, burps more times than I could count...
Keong, his hair was longer than LJ...
Ming Rong, always complaining than someone cheated him of 1 YTL(Turkish money)
Fong Zyin, all turks find her pretty....
Chin Wooi, thanks god that people don't eat pork in Turkey. However, it is unknown which god that he thanked...
Not in pic:
Lo, likes his trademark wool-covers-the-eyes pose...
Boon, everyone finds him "cute". Lee-chan kawaiiiii!!!


Anyway, the whole trip started with us being typical Malaysians....yup, we were late for the gathering. Our first words from our tour guide, Ms. Kumagaya was "Please be on time as you will delay the whole group." It was kind of a good thing....I mean I can't think of any better way to start our trip.
FYI, the tour guide shall be called "Soy Sauce", as named by Chin Wooi who fell in love with Soy Sauce.


The witch of the western skies....here you see her in action terrorizing someone.

We took Uzbekistan Airways for our journey to Turkey. Just like the old Chinese tale, we had our own share of demons and devils. Just like the pic above, we had terrible witches of the western skies to terrorize us. Forgive me for being too harsh here but they are old, fat, and unattractive...compared to the cabin crew of Malaysian Airlines or Japan Airlines, I couldn't help but criticize. And they were rude too!!

Once when I was sleeping, they roughly threw earphones on my body. Just like that, BAM! i woke up to find two earphones on my body. Can't they at least leave me in peace and give me those earphones later? Plus, the damn audio were in Uzbek's!!...rudely awaken from my peaceful sleep just to find earphones for me to jack into some language I can't understand!! .....and apparently that's not the only way they wake passengers up. They are so fat that their humongous ass will brush your shoulders as they try to squeeze through the aisle. Not to mention that the stomps their heavy feet produce are louder than the sound the jet engine produces. Sigh...someone need to remind them why air stewardess needs to be thin.

One word...HAG!!! Pity on all the men in Uzbekistan...

But wait...that's not it. When it's time for meal....they....are they unable to speak? Do they have to dump the food on my tray? Can't they at least set it nicely on the tray?

You see, when it's time for serving food, they don't ask the usual "Fish or Meat?" .....they just mention "FISH!" or "MEAT!!"...then they dump the food on your tray. If you are thinking "Don't we get to choose??"....exactly that. It's as if they were given the privilege to make the decision for you. Same thing goes for beverage. They just go round saying "Tea! ....Tea!" and roughly pour some watered down tea in your cup. If you want coffee, you have to hide your cups away from them, shake your head vigourously like a rattlesnake's tail and say "Coffee!" a few times....

Worst when they collect the pillows and blankets....I witnessed with my own two unbelieving eyes how they snatched away blankets from unsuspecting, sleeping passengers. Boon, he tried to hide one of the pillows but the witches' power were too great for him. Once again.....to all my readers, let's be in a moment of silence for about a minute....give those men of Uzbekistan your sincerest pity.

For those who don't believe in witches....BELIEVE IT!!