Turkey 1 : Journey to the West

"In order to reach heaven, one must first journey through hell."

Ever heard that phrase? No? Well, you can quote me on that!

I know most of you have heard of the ancient Chinese tale "Journey through the West". The story about a monk, a monkey, a pig and a water demon who journeyed to the west to search for a scroll of some sort. And in their journey, they met all kinds of demons and beasts which tried to kill, seduce, eat them. Me, being a proud Chinese who can only command simple Mandarin and an even simpler Cantonese, decided to follow the holy monk's work and undergo a journey of my own.

My journey to the west took me to the far away lands of Turkey, home of kebab and belly dancers. Along with me on this sacred journey are...


From left:
Me, misunderstood for being a tough scary guy all the time..
Loke Eng, had a sore throat, lost his voice and had to suffer my cruel jokes..
Li Jia, burps more times than I could count...
Keong, his hair was longer than LJ...
Ming Rong, always complaining than someone cheated him of 1 YTL(Turkish money)
Fong Zyin, all turks find her pretty....
Chin Wooi, thanks god that people don't eat pork in Turkey. However, it is unknown which god that he thanked...
Not in pic:
Lo, likes his trademark wool-covers-the-eyes pose...
Boon, everyone finds him "cute". Lee-chan kawaiiiii!!!


Anyway, the whole trip started with us being typical Malaysians....yup, we were late for the gathering. Our first words from our tour guide, Ms. Kumagaya was "Please be on time as you will delay the whole group." It was kind of a good thing....I mean I can't think of any better way to start our trip.
FYI, the tour guide shall be called "Soy Sauce", as named by Chin Wooi who fell in love with Soy Sauce.


The witch of the western skies....here you see her in action terrorizing someone.

We took Uzbekistan Airways for our journey to Turkey. Just like the old Chinese tale, we had our own share of demons and devils. Just like the pic above, we had terrible witches of the western skies to terrorize us. Forgive me for being too harsh here but they are old, fat, and unattractive...compared to the cabin crew of Malaysian Airlines or Japan Airlines, I couldn't help but criticize. And they were rude too!!

Once when I was sleeping, they roughly threw earphones on my body. Just like that, BAM! i woke up to find two earphones on my body. Can't they at least leave me in peace and give me those earphones later? Plus, the damn audio were in Uzbek's!!...rudely awaken from my peaceful sleep just to find earphones for me to jack into some language I can't understand!! .....and apparently that's not the only way they wake passengers up. They are so fat that their humongous ass will brush your shoulders as they try to squeeze through the aisle. Not to mention that the stomps their heavy feet produce are louder than the sound the jet engine produces. Sigh...someone need to remind them why air stewardess needs to be thin.

One word...HAG!!! Pity on all the men in Uzbekistan...

But wait...that's not it. When it's time for meal....they....are they unable to speak? Do they have to dump the food on my tray? Can't they at least set it nicely on the tray?

You see, when it's time for serving food, they don't ask the usual "Fish or Meat?" .....they just mention "FISH!" or "MEAT!!"...then they dump the food on your tray. If you are thinking "Don't we get to choose??"....exactly that. It's as if they were given the privilege to make the decision for you. Same thing goes for beverage. They just go round saying "Tea! ....Tea!" and roughly pour some watered down tea in your cup. If you want coffee, you have to hide your cups away from them, shake your head vigourously like a rattlesnake's tail and say "Coffee!" a few times....

Worst when they collect the pillows and blankets....I witnessed with my own two unbelieving eyes how they snatched away blankets from unsuspecting, sleeping passengers. Boon, he tried to hide one of the pillows but the witches' power were too great for him. Once again.....to all my readers, let's be in a moment of silence for about a minute....give those men of Uzbekistan your sincerest pity.

For those who don't believe in witches....BELIEVE IT!!