So, a Japanese man marries his Nintendo girlfriend. Wow, I am jealous.
And why not?
She is cute, has big eyes(with an incredibly sexy mole under her right eye), perfect skin, boobs with a satisfactory size. She’s forever nice, never demanding anything more than a few strokes of the plastic pen on touch screen, never argues, always there when you need her to be, always “not” there when you need her to be, won’t date out in expensive restaurants ordering something expensive which she can’t finish and will later complain about, and won’t ask you why your neighbour has new furniture/TV/car/curtain but not you. She also has no need for a Prada bag or a dozen shoes.
Wow...why have I not thought of that sooner?? I could have married Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy 7 for strangeness sake. That way, if anyone tries to rob me...
“Don’t you know who I am married to? Tifa Lockhart!! She will kick your ass!!!
Now, can just wait for a moment while I switch on my Nintendo?”
Push start…loading…select character…
load game…tifa…tifa…I’m going to load my best weapon…
Emerald Gloves of Dread. Oh ho ho…you are dead meat now!”
Now, wouldn’t that be awesome!! hahaha...
But seriously, I don’t understand why the world is so interested in this one dude. People have been having strange marriages all around!! Married to chicken, a tree, a dead spouse(I do think it is romantic, but some things just aren’t necessary), a partner twice/half your age. So, what is it so strange about this guy marrying a virtual girl?
Instead, it kind of makes sense in a few ways...
For example;
If Tiger Woods had married a Nintendo DS, he wouldn’t have crashed his car into a tree.
Bill Clinton would not have lost his presidency.
O.J Simpson would still be a loved actor.
Chua Soi Lek would be filmed sitting on a couch holding a small size gadget instead of...you know...
Just so you know, it isn’t all that easy getting a virtual girl to marry you. You first have to get to that “Marry Me” button...and it takes a lot of patience to get that option to appear on the screen.
I myself have tried a dating simulation before and, GAWD DAMN it’s frustrating!! It is almost as troublesome as dating a real girl in life. The only difference being you can’t slap the girl in game.
So, I say we applaud that guy who pioneered the way for us. Lets give him credit for being brave enough to actually hold a wedding reception in Guam. Lets be thankful that he gave us something interesting to read about and something for me to write about.
I shall forever remember him as NDS Guy(not Nintendo Dual Sreen but, Nippon Dude is Strange)....
Hah...I bet Charles Darwin did not predict this kind of evolution for mankind huh?
