I don't know about you but, for me, time slows down during summer...
As the heat and humidity fills the air, everything goes by in slow motion. As if time expands with rising temperatures....
And it is during this time of the year when I lose all my mood to do anything at all,
Time of the year when lecturer starts to get serious with my work...
Time when a mundane lifestyle stick to you like sweat, where days of the week don't make sense anymore..
Especially now when my friends who were doing medic just graduated...requiring me to call them doctor when I'm still in the process of pursuing my degree...
It is time like this when I start thinking up nonsense....
"What if I had known that it would turn out like this, would I still apply for Japan?"
If I had the superhuman ability of being able to the future, and I knew that it would turn out like this, taking 7 long years just to get a degree...would I still apply for Japan??
Although I do have a lot of fun in Japan, and I met a lot of interesting people and I do gained a lot of experience...but....honestly, I don't think I can give a 100% yes to that question.
I mean, 7 years IS a long time if it's just to get a degree....and as much as anyone would say about my fluency on Japanese, that still doesn't cut it as English is still the mainstream language of global communication.
So, what have I been doing all these years?? I mean, I don't feel particularly "extra smart" for being able to study in Japan....in fact, I actually think that I could have performed better elsewhere...
So,
"What if I had known that it would turn out like this, would I still apply for Japan?"
I somehow recalled my conversation with my friend, Kenny's father. He advised me against going to Japan as it takes too long to get a mere degree. I can always take up Japanese lessons and I can always go to Japan for holidays. It was quite a career-prioritized advise and it didn't feel all that appealing to my immature mind at that time...
Same thing goes with my trusted teacher/adviser/mentor in highschool...
And with a lot of other adults...
I was thinking "No way I'm letting this go!! I want to see the famed mini skirts of Japan"
But now, I'm seriously thinking "What if....."
It used to be said that Japan is more technologically advance and that we should learn from them....and that's why Dr. Mahathir started the "Look East Policy".
But what I learned is that, in order for Malaysia to be technological advance, all we have to do is lessen the number of "coffee breaks"!!! Malaysians here fair quite well academically...and why not since our brains are of the same size! It is the attitude, the mentality, and the dedication that sets us so far apart.
But as you all know, Malaysians can be quite dangerous, aggresive and unrelenting when it comes to cutting down teh tarik breaks....
YES! The existence of teh tarik and karipap is keeping us back in the technology world!
So, even I manage to absorb the essence of Japanese greatness, and I don't deny that being in Japan changed me in some way....how am I to change the infamously stubborn Malaysians?
What, then, is my value??
What, then, is the purpose of me being here in Japan?
What.....if I had known that it would turn out like this......
would I still apply for Japan?
19 comments:
this question does cross my mind occasionally and yeah, i gotta agree with you...
sounds so much like the road not taken, eh?
p/s: would you mind if i take this topic and blog it from my point of view one day?
Hmm...in this case, I would say "the road taken....and pondered upon"
Haha...of course not. Please feel free to discuss any topics off this blog...
dont worry,u have another chance to choose now!! you can continue elsewhere :)
I still have no answer for that....
I don't know if I want to go elsewhere or stay in Japan...
*Note : I am copying some comments that was posted on facebook here so that I can reread them again to my grand kids some day...
From Subasni :
If i had known it'd be this painful and tortorous to get a degree here,i'd have just done my form 6.lol.
lol...well,it kinda speaks of more or less whats ought to be running in a sane kosen-sei's mind..lol
From Lai Mei Yan :
well... try to think: what ...if you finished your degree in few years ago, then you start working with the pay around rm3k (fresh graduate normally around 3-5k). then buy car, pay loan, pay insurance, pay this pay that.....one month left few hundrred. everyday go working, back home late. weekend dating......repeat and repeat.......
after a few ... Read Moreyear, only you realise that your life is boring. but on that time, your age not start with 2, maybe start with 3 or more.you want to start a new life but you have your own family. what can you do?
on the other side, look at your life in jp.you are receiving the scholarship which enough for your daily life and can save a big amount money for your future life, the experiences that you had gained, the ppl that you met, the places that you went to....
not everybody can study abroad in oversea. since you got the chance, why dun you think that it is a "gift" but not a "regret"????
Hmm...weekend dating?? That don't sound too bad!!...haha.
Anyway,
Yes, you are right about "not everybody can study abroad". And here I don't mean not everybody is smart enough to study overseas....smarts got nothing to do with it. Instead, it is not everybody is suited for overseas life. Some adapt very well and is having a blast here, but there are also many who came here looking for adventure, found it, and realize that it's not what we were looking for and suddenly finds that it is very difficult to live in a foreign society. ... Read More
And besides...the government spend almost half a million ringgit just to send me to Japan. AND, at the end of the 7th year, you have to ask yourself..."Are you worth half a million ringgit?"
>Subasni
haha...form 6 does sounds a lot of fun...but your world would forever be small, with your old friends along with you. Which is cool anyway, but then again, which right minded, over active, over excited, Form 5 student wouldn't jump at the chance to go to Japan?!!
hmm...I guess this must be in the mind of most kosen-sei here in Japan, I just laid it out in words...
Got to agree with Mei Yan too.
But then, like you said, are you worth that much?
My say would be, stop valuing yourself in such manner, because I'm very sure that you have done a lot to contribute back to the society, compared to some of us who are receiving thousands of ringgit every month from the government and spending it in ways which sometimes makes you ponder, do they deserve that?
There are so many more candidates who deserve a chance to experience what they are going though. Not pointing fingers at anybody here though.
I guess there are just as many pros as cons in this matter.
Haha...those undeserving brats.
Yeah...there are many pros and cons regarding this....that's why I left the question unanswered.
I guess, I'll only know my worth after working for several years. And if I even manage to contribute anything significant...
hmm..for me i dont regret :) if i didnt choose japan, my life wont be full of adventures, of coz i wont meet u! i dont want!!!!!
>ER
Wow...I'll take that as a compliment.
Thanks...haha.
From Lew Yow Keong :
i was used to think negatively during 3th year in kosen~_~
but,it is too fun and great to be able to stay in japan for a few year.so now dont care anymorela.
From Subasni :
hmm...yea,which right minded,HYPER active,over excited,over achieving form 5 student wouldn't have jumped at a half-a-million ringgit scholarship?
not that my path is laid with regrets,but just as you said,the "what if"s never seem to cease...but then and again,life is just full of possibilities and its up to us to cease those we want...=)
From Ben Foo :
I think I would say "yes" :)
Like you said, it's the mentality. Even if you use less money to go into any universities around the world, you might perform better. But then again what is "better"? In what sense? Just study? Or life overall?
And somehow local universities is not my personal option. No offence but I'm seen most pics from my friends, and the "groupings"..nvm...next time :p... Read More
I guess it's the process of being here that's important. Some take chances and some (most) don't. So I guess the first question when we reached here should be "hhmm how can I can make the best out of my 7 years? Just go to school, come back then go to school again? (which can be done anywhere)".
But I guess most of us will be thinking, "hhhmmm how should I be using money? Akihabara first or Shibuya ?" :)
I meant perform better as in academically...but life here is definitely much more interesting!
Yes, exactly...how to make the best of the 7 years. And how do you make use of what ever you've gained in those 7 years....or in most of us, do we even have anything after 7 years..
I guess, deep down, I'm a bitch and I need to be told that I'm doing something worthwhile. I need to be told that I'm of value....and that's because I'm always in a constant doubt of myself. always unsure if I measure up to expectations..... Read More
You are right....it is the process that's important. BUT, for example, I've done a lot of things outside school...but do those things matter? How the hell are they going to help me in any way?
I know that, I'm an engineer, not a philosopher...but still
"what if??"
Hmm...maybe I just need to obey the process of life and live my part as a young adult. Maybe I'll enjoy myself first, then worry about my contribution to society only when I start paying taxes...
hey Randy, this kind of things happen to every1~ppl will suddenly pause in the middle of evthing and asked if they're doing the rite thing.
well, what's over is over.probably what u shd do now is how to make the best of evthing from ur current situation - and do enjoy urself bcos not every1 a great chance like u do ^^
From Tenkang:
Randy I know what u mean.
Don't think too much about your past,
try to think about your future and make sure that you choose the right way and no regrets in your future.
another comment for you ''有得必有失，有失必有得"
... Read More
thanks for your sharing
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