The devil I call Hospital...

My dad is experiencing waves of discomfort and pain....but good times too(thank god for that).

During one of his good times, he related to me his experience from when he first collapsed until the moment he got admitted. Like me, he is a person who believe "Anything and everything is worth laughing at"...so I got quite a good time laughing while listening to his "experience". But I was concious of the seriousness of the situation punctuated between laughters...

He first noticed that he got a splitting headache, dizziness and nauseous one Thursday night. Realizing that this isn't normal, he got an ambulance to carry him to the hospital where they did a scan at Mahkota Medical and found a blood clot in his brains. My dad happens to also have an artificial valve and is undergoing warfarin medication. So, his condition is more or less a heart + neuro thing....and not forgetting that he is 68 years of age.

Mahkota Medical, Pantai and Putra refused to admit my dad in because he was "too risky". Damn hospitals....that's why we come to you...We have problems we can't handle!!! But I guess reputation is more important than saving people's lifes...god damn monsters.

So, under the recommendation of a trusted heart doctor, my dad was sent to Prince Court Medical Center...the only hospital willing to take my dad in. This hospital is situated in KL...while the ambulance is on the highway, they refused to turn on the siren as the driver said, "in Melaka it's ok...but in KL, only vehicle carrying a VIP is allowed siren". He was suffering and the damn driver refused to drive with sirens turned on...took him 3 fucking hours to get to KL. And what more, when my dad asked for a blanket, "Encik, kalau mau selimut, ada....tapi kena bayar 50 ringgit...". That damn wanker...

After reaching Prince Court, that damn driver refused to let my dad off!!! "Encik, kena bayar dulu!!". And my dad had a brain hemorrage that time...how the hell is he supposed to answer or pay the man?!! Either he's got shit for brains or that he worked as a taxi driver before.

So, now my dad's in Prince Court...bloody expensive as hell. Was asked for deposit of RM10000 before they agreed to do anything...lucky for my dad he had a friend who helped.

Damn hospitals....is money everything for them?? Don't people's lives mater anymore?? What happened to that Hippocratic oath?!! Damn hypocrites.....

Sigh...I am angry and disappointed at the system but, after reading recent headlines about how old folks are being abandoned at hospitals, guess I can't put all the blame on hospitals, can I? But then again...my dad did not deserve the treatment he got from hospitals in Melaka.

What a damn shame...

Sigh...but at least my dad is in good hands right now. Had to pay hella lot though..

If only you can see how beautifully decorated this hospital is, you won't believe that it's a hospital! With valet parking, lavishly decorated lobby, coffee bean in refreshment areas, toilet almost as big as my room in Japan....and the food...omg the food...prepared by Italian chef, they are one of the best I've tasted.

You see, my dad is not in a hospital, but instead a 5 star hotel with doctors...

Dudes and chics...if any of you are going to work in hospital management, doctors too, never forget that a human's life is more precious than all the money in the world.

Practice medicine, not do business...

Life made beautiful by Danger

It was one fine Thursday night when I got a phone call from home...

Mom was crying on the other end...

"Randy, your dad is in the ambulance now heading to KL. He is bleeding in the head.."

Imagine the shock I had....it's not everyday you get a phone call telling you that your father had a brain hemorrhage. Listened to my mother's almost incomprehensible(due to crying) explanation of the situation....then I had to end put the phone down and allow a few moments to pass before finally registering the fact in my head.

I knew at once that I had to go back....yeah, who wouldn't, right? My brother had work and couldn't just leave so that leaves my mother alone. And my mother isn't exactly a calm lady when it comes to situation such as this. I had to go back for both my parents sake...

I wanted to go back that very weekend itself, but I'm tied by responsibilities in University. You see, I had to hand in a report and give a presentation as finals in a course I was taking. Fail that and I had to repeat the year. And then there was paperwork involving my furthering studies.
This was also the time where everyone start doing their research vigorously as we had to hand in our work at the end of September, but luckily I was consistent until now and already had enough material. And also lucky that my lecturer allowed me ample time in Malaysia.

Anyway, after the phone call I got, I weighted my options and opted for a Wednesday flight the following week.

A friend of mine was kind enough to offer his frequent flier points to get tickets for me to go back. Although his was United Airlines and it only had direct to Singapore, he was a much appreciated help. And since I'm reaching Singapore midnight and had to spend the night there, a friend studying there was kind enough to offer me his place to spend the night.

Things like this makes you remember these people forever...

Day comes and I find myself strapped in my seat, staring at the "put your seat belt on before take off" light above me. Flight captain announced that we had good weather and was expecting a quick arrival....GOOD...
Then, I realized that I had been staring at the "seat belt light" for an awful long time and was wondering what went wrong. And then it came...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are experiencing some mechanical problem. The ground crew is inspecting it and the flight will be delayed for an hour"

Of all timings, now? When I'm anxious to go back? But I thought that one hour delay couldn't hurt...what can be worse?

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry to announce that this flight will be canceled. Another flight will be arranged tomorrow at noon"

Great...now I will miss my connecting flight from Singapore to KL. And considering the fact that my dad wanted to see me badly, this will be a big blow to his already depressed and negative mental state. BUT, I suppose that this is much better than having an airplane crash...

Reached Singapore and had to fork out 80 SGD to get the earliest flight out...
Once again, customs officers staring at my passport, walking down the long walkway to my gate, strap myself into the seat...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, there will be a short delay...."

Oh, come on!! Again?!! A lot of things had caused some sort of delay and struggle, not just the cancelled flight but other unmentioned things as well...

Sigh...can't help but be reminded by what my dad said all the time, "When you are in a rush, all the traffic lights will be red"

This time, no cancellation following the delay so...it's all good for me. Reached KL a little after midnight. Was picked up by an uncle of mine. I wanted to go directly to the hospital but my uncle was very very tired and I had to stay very very patient and keep from pestering him to take me to the hospital.

Finally got to see my dad the next day...arriving 2 days later than expected, I could see that the anxiety had taken a toll on my dad.
Got the gist from the doctor saying that my dad had had bleeding inside the skull due to his drug side effect(he's taking some kind of medicine to regulate his blood density to his pacemaker). The bleeding had formed a clot and they are keeping him under observation and will only decide what to do after a week.
Anyway, although everybody's been telling me that this isn't that serious a condition, my dad's been sick for decades and this present scare had affected his mental state a lot...and me arriving 2 days late? Well, let's just say that he suffered quite a bit in that 2 days...

When he finally got to see me, he cheered up immediately and things got a lot better from then on. He started eating again(haven't been eating properly), started moving about(had been bed ridden all the time)....although he still suffers head pains(means no peaceful sleep), things had suddenly gotten much more bearable and he is able to sleep through the night....

He told me a lot of things that he had not before...well, things that I'm not too comfortable sharing here, but important things concerning his past life that I had not known. Told me how much he appreciated the family more than ever before...

This sort of danger had put a new found appreciation of life within both my dad and me...

Truly, there are no appreciation without threat...

Things look okay at the moment, and I hope that with my love and support, things will be okay all the way...

The uncomfortable thought...

I don't know about you but, for me, time slows down during summer...

As the heat and humidity fills the air, everything goes by in slow motion. As if time expands with rising temperatures....

And it is during this time of the year when I lose all my mood to do anything at all,
Time of the year when lecturer starts to get serious with my work...
Time when a mundane lifestyle stick to you like sweat, where days of the week don't make sense anymore..
Especially now when my friends who were doing medic just graduated...requiring me to call them doctor when I'm still in the process of pursuing my degree...
It is time like this when I start thinking up nonsense....

"What if I had known that it would turn out like this, would I still apply for Japan?"

If I had the superhuman ability of being able to the future, and I knew that it would turn out like this, taking 7 long years just to get a degree...would I still apply for Japan??

Although I do have a lot of fun in Japan, and I met a lot of interesting people and I do gained a lot of experience...but....honestly, I don't think I can give a 100% yes to that question.

I mean, 7 years IS a long time if it's just to get a degree....and as much as anyone would say about my fluency on Japanese, that still doesn't cut it as English is still the mainstream language of global communication.

So, what have I been doing all these years?? I mean, I don't feel particularly "extra smart" for being able to study in Japan....in fact, I actually think that I could have performed better elsewhere...

So,

"What if I had known that it would turn out like this, would I still apply for Japan?"

I somehow recalled my conversation with my friend, Kenny's father. He advised me against going to Japan as it takes too long to get a mere degree. I can always take up Japanese lessons and I can always go to Japan for holidays. It was quite a career-prioritized advise and it didn't feel all that appealing to my immature mind at that time...

Same thing goes with my trusted teacher/adviser/mentor in highschool...

And with a lot of other adults...

I was thinking "No way I'm letting this go!! I want to see the famed mini skirts of Japan"

But now, I'm seriously thinking "What if....."

It used to be said that Japan is more technologically advance and that we should learn from them....and that's why Dr. Mahathir started the "Look East Policy".

But what I learned is that, in order for Malaysia to be technological advance, all we have to do is lessen the number of "coffee breaks"!!! Malaysians here fair quite well academically...and why not since our brains are of the same size! It is the attitude, the mentality, and the dedication that sets us so far apart.

But as you all know, Malaysians can be quite dangerous, aggresive and unrelenting when it comes to cutting down teh tarik breaks....

YES! The existence of teh tarik and karipap is keeping us back in the technology world!

So, even I manage to absorb the essence of Japanese greatness, and I don't deny that being in Japan changed me in some way....how am I to change the infamously stubborn Malaysians?

What, then, is my value??

What, then, is the purpose of me being here in Japan?

What.....if I had known that it would turn out like this......

would I still apply for Japan?