World of terrorism..

Terrorism.....terrorism is larger and more active than we may know. I can say that Pres. Bush would probably know this best....and I too, have come to realize this recently.

Most of us ... I mean, most of you....believe that terrorism only occur in the western part of the world, namely the United States and Britain. But to say that it NOT happening else where is a fool's talk. Just because the newspaper doesn't report it, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

There...now that I have made my point, let's go into the main topic for today. Terrorism have reached the shores of Japan. Yes I know, none of you have seen it in the papers...but once again, please refer to the previous paragraph. That's right, terrorist are here in Japan and they are operating very near my place. I myself have witness and more than once I've overheard them.

But no worries...they may be dangerous but things are under control over here. Thanks to my junior Kan Wye Marn (he entered my college the year after me) , he have been working hard suppressing the terrifying terrorist. He...the bravest of them all, dropped down his pen and paper, and armed himself with a mouse and a keyboard as a shield, went on to have war. And he seems to be doing quite well, a lot better than the US army as a matter of fact. Quite often I hear "Counter Terrorist wins".....or "enemy spotted"....which follows by "Fire in the hole!!". Knowing that he is out there fighting a war to preserve safety here at my college, I can sleep a little better knowing that the world is a safer place every time I hear all those gunshots and explosions coming out from his room.

In case you are still wondering what the hell I was talking about, well...I'm complaining about him playing Counter-Strike too often and turning on his speaker too loud!!! AND IT'S GAWD DAMN IRRITATING!!!!! Not only that I have to tolerate the crickets in the day time, I have to tolerate "Go Go Go"..."Fire in the hole"...that kind of shit....ARRGGGHHHH! And he always have to play at night when I'm trying to sleep! Is he bearing grudge against me just because I'm 3 cm taller than him? Is height so gawd damn important to him?? Drink more milk you %$$#"'%!!!!

Sigh....I'm...I'm sorry. I don't usually use web logs to bitch about people I hate. OK....I know that it's holidays now but can't he be a little more considerate? I mean, anyone would know that blasting your speaker at 2.30 in the morning would disturb your neighbours right? And sounds from Counter-Strike isn't exactly "modern Mozart" either.....ya know, sometimes I wonder. Is he so irritated by the crickets that he tries to irritate them back by blasting his speakers to max power? He really think that the crickets will move away if he create all those noise? hmm...but I do have to admit that I don't hear crickets anymore lately (either that or that I have lost the ability to hear them anymore)

"But why don't you just go over and sound it to him?"...you might ask. And that was what I did. The stuff I said was quite funny so here it is...

Me: *Knock Knock
Private Kan: ......*no answer
Me: #Bang Bang Bang!!
Private Kan: Oh...yes?
Me: Hey..whassup. You having fun?
Private Kan: What?
Me: Are you having fun?
Private Kan: Uhh...uhuh.
Me: Well, good. Now, lower your volume.

Yeah....and now it's a little better as he learned that his speakers are not vegetables and they won't rot if he don't turn them on full power. I guess next time I'll just get a catalog of the latest headphones...hell, I might even buy him one next time. Hmm....will he understand then or will he buy a better speaker? The truth...is out there, two doors away from me.

Buffet TV....An All You Can Eat Show.

>Peekaboo
Well, yes and no....I don't really know what you look like other than in picture you post on friendster. And if you say you put on that much make up for classes....damn, that's a lot of paint! Not sure bout everybody else but I prefer the al naturale kind of look. You look much much sweeter without make up. But hey...that's just me......hmm, no wonder that old man got attracted to you. haha...btw, all the best for your exams.

>Junnie
You saw my mom? Well, say hi for me the next time you do....and that sparkle you saw, that was probably because she spoke to me on phone the night before! Yeah, you got it wrong....my mom actually misses all those nonsense me and my bro made for her!

>Takumi
Heys....always nice to meet a new fella. I'll be posting those in November...

>Ncs
Actually, I sat in the front row. And it was kinda cool seeing it all close up front. Nausea? Well, that's because you got brain trauma from all those cool shit!! Even I got short term speech impairment from sitting in front.

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It's SUMMER time!!!

Just in case you thought that "!!!" was "Yay! it's summer!!".....no it's not. It's more like "Aww...shit! it's summer already??...aw man!!"
I HATE SUMMER!!!!!!

So why do Randy hate summer when 200 million fellow Japs love it so much?

Here's why....

It is said that crickets burrow into the ground for 17 years and then 'gloriously' emerge into the world of the living...proud of it's adulthood. And guess what crickets do to celebrate being an adult? They tell each other stories of their underground life....who they met...what kind of soil they were in...how they once broke curfew and went out to take a peek at the world before it was time. That's all fine actually...but do they have to shout at each other? Yeah, I know that they have friends from different trees, but do they have to chirp out that loud? Damn...someone get them a handphone!! Noisy little buggers.....waiting all those years just to come out and annoy me.

To make living with cricket all that much worse is the heat. Last I saw on the news, it was 41 degree Celcius. 41 for goodness sake.....and to pair up with that is 60% humidity. Gawd DAMN it's hot....it's so hot that I'm naked most of the time. Talking bout "living la vida nuda" (Pardon me if my Spanish is wrong but you'd understand nude when you see nuda right?). Sounds catchy right? Well, that's one song that even Ricky Martin won't sing about. Anyway...it's sweltering hot.
But then again, summer's not all bad. Went to the beach the other day...was great playing with waves and building sand castle...ehem, had a kid to do that with me...can't do that alone now can I? Sad right? Can you imagine a 22 year old guy playing with sand? Anyway, also tried to get a nice summer tan but got sun burnt instead. Probably from staring at the girl in white bikinis for too long. My skin is really paying for it now...I'm shedding skin like that snake in Anaconda, cept' I'm not getting bigger as I do so.

Oh...about the title. haha....almost forget to type in something about that.
Ehem....latest on Jap TV, a show about girls who can eat like a pig. Excuse me there...didn't mean to demean them like that.

The real stuff is an entertainment show about women who can eat more than a pig. I mean.....HOLY SHIT, she can stomach all that shit? Shit....
There's this one show, a girl as slim as Jessica Alba ate a 2kg piece of steak plus mash 'tatoes and corn and rice. In another, a girl who ate 3kgs of spaghetti....another who ate omelette rice...well, nasi pattaya...on a plate as big as a basketball rim!! What? Don't believe me?....haha, yeah, I've exaggerated a little bit there...it wasn't that big a plate, it was a tray.
I've never really understood Jap entertainment Tv but this is real bullshit. I mean I've seen a fat guy eat, but these girls can really eat more than a really fat guy. Damn girl just won't put her fork down. I'm no sport science specialist but eating that much isn't good for you right? Her body won't have enough time to process all those junk.

Hah...don't think her excrement will be brown in colour!!

Movie of the year....

I'll have to say...this is one of the best movie I've seen this year. Won't say that it is the best ever.....but awed nonetheless. Watched it last Saturday....came out of the cinema, I looked at my friend, my friend looks at me and we said in unison "Holy SHIT!!!" ... and that was what I keep saying for the next few minutes. As if having meeting a goddess, I was speechless.... Well, not entirely speechless, I kept uttering "Aww.....shit. Holy shit.....Damn....SHEEEIIIIIIITTT!!!!"

This is without a doubt the best movie I've seen after 300. Although I'd like to give as much credit as possible, there are a few points that I didn't really like. The starting of the movie was.....cheesy. I've gotta admit that when I saw that opening bit about some cube, and how it incidently landed on earth....."What the hell? Spielberg and Michael Bay can't think of anything better than this crap??!!"

And what's the deal with the sudden appearance of the helicopter. I know it's cool and all but at least give me some explanation on where it came from, why it attacked there...well, I understood why at the end but ......at least give me something to chew on at the beginning!!
And about Shia Lebeouf....although he gave a somewhat acceptable performance, I won't say it's excellent. He seems to have only one "look"....unlike other actors that show different facial expressions, he have that "look" glued on throughout the show... and not forgetting similar speech pattern throughout the movie. Remember Bad Boys II by Michael Bay? In that movie, Martin Lawrence just can't keep his mouth shut. This time, Shia seems to be talking too fast all the time...no difference at all when he's giving presentation in class and when trying to nail that chic.....did I mention that that's one hot chic?? Well, THAT'S one hot chic....and she can act quite well too. As for the black guy who ate all the donuts.....I thought that his character deserved more screen time. I mean, he's the one who discovered the codes in the wave signals, right? And the screen writers failed to elaborate anything on that either.

Well, that's all the critics I have. As for CG and robots strength, perfectly done!!!! I LOVE the scene where the Barricade lept into the air and landed as a police patrol car. Also the scene where Megatron changed form into a fighter jet just to fire off missiles. Super.....AND I can't comment well enough on how they manage to point out that They are not invincible. Like when they called in air support in the desert....or when Starscream battled with a couple of fighter jets. I'll have to say.....what a display on US military power.

This......movie, I will not watch it in the cinema ever again.....don't get me wrong, cause' if I do, money will be leaking out my wallet like the Indah Water pipes in Malaysia.

Once more......AWWW SHHHIITTTTTTT!!!!! THAT'S A DAMN FINE SHOW!!!

Good news or bad news??

Wow Kelly...the bugs start chirping already? Thank god I live in Ibaraki....we don't have that noisy bug here, or at least not yet. I've always wondered, what do the environmentalists think of them? Them who always "preserve trees, save nature from mankind". Will they change their mind about trees that harbour a legion of noisy bugs that god created to irritate humans during summer or not....

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Just in case you're wondering, my exams is not over. It's just that a recent news highlight caught my attention and my fingers are just itching to comment about them.

Have you guys read the news about the flight to Kota Kinabalu that got canceled due to 'mechanical problem'?? Well, it was a MAS flight that Transport Minister Datuk Seri Chan Kong Choy was supposed to be on. When I first read it, it seemed to be just a random piece of news. But then suddenly, I thought "What are the odds that the ONLY flight canceled, or the only one reported in the news (which only serve to point out how significant a domestic flight was to be headline in the international papers) was the flight that our dear Transport Minister was on??" Being a Malaysian who's used to all kinds of mischiefs....I did my own little investigation.

You see, a few days before that delay, MAS announce that they will be giving one month bonus to their employees.....but what they failed to mention was that the bonus was to be given ONLY to 'selected employees'. Of course this unsurprisingly irked those who were excluded from the money list. So, according to my brother, who were supposed to serve on that flight.....it wasn't a mechanical fault, they deliberately delayed that flight!!

So, the mechanics were like.....

"Aww...it looks like we might have a screw loose on this one plane our Transport Minister is getting on. We, the dedicated mechanics can't shirk our duties and we must make sure this flight is save. We won't want our dear minister to be involved in an airplane crash now do we? Ali and Abu, you guys go on and check the rest of the plane...the rest of us are going out to buy karipap and teh tarik." And they took 4 hours to check that plane!!!

Well, what happened next was the announcement that ALL MAS EMPLOYEES are getting their bonus. All following flights were on schedule after that. Hahaha....good old Malaysians. Always getting our way. Congratulations to my brother too for getting his bonus.

But what really interest me is that in the international news, our dear Transport Minister actually lauded their actions. Now, since when did a Chinese minister ever praised a delayed flight before? And not only that, the newspaper here in Japan always report good stuff about MAS...how diligent and productive they are under the administration of Idris Jala.

WOW...journalist in Malaysia must be damn good in their job!!!!

EXAMSS!!!!

That is all...

Japan, Land of Rising sun...rising wave and earth as well...did I mention wind? Well, rain too....

Well Kelly, I guess so....everyone's a sucker. The only difference was that I realised that later than anyone else. Wait....if...if everyone's a sucker, then that also means that no one is, right? Yeah, I guess so too. And uhh...just in case you got insulted by me calling you a sucker..well, I'm sorry you're a sucker as well. hahaha...

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After going through what I went through these few days, I've yet drawn another conclusion on Japan. Either God really hate Japanese or that japanese happened to draw the short straw when choosing place to create a settlement.

Why do I say that? Well, Japan happen to be the most natural disaster prone in the world...well, other than the Bermuda Triangle of course, but that's in the middle of the ocean so that don't really count. These last few days I...well, we students in Japan had to face the typhoon. And when at long last the winds and rain died, it followed with an earthquake for an encore.

Now, anybody who had experienced typhoon would tell you that it's more than just having a standing fan turned on full blast while someone shoots at you with a water gun. It's more like winds bearing the wrath of gods unleashed while a legion of angels cry with sympathy over our suffering. The worst yet I saw on the news was a van overturned by the force of the winds, beach fronts have to deal with waves 9 meters high....and flash floods arrived as unexpected as an annoying salesman at your door. My most sincere condolences to the families whose member got swept away by torrents of water.
Well, lucky for me that my place(It's called IBARAKI, please remember it and stop asking me where am I in Japan) usually escapes the maximum damage. BUT.....we may not have overturned vans.... but we do have our garbage bins overturned. Now this I can't understand, how can a garbage bin full of ...well, garbage...be overturned? Human waste can be very heavy and yet the winds decided to play a prank on us and spill all of our embarrassing secrets all over the yard!!

Sigh...but like they say, sun will eventually shine and brighten up our lives with it's abundant smile. But whoever said that don't know that earthquake can also happen in broad daylight!! Different from the honest, dark and moody rain, earthquake's like a hypocrite lawyer who smiles at you but then shake up sooooo bad...I have a friend up north where the epicenter was.....the same place I'm heading to next year. Thanks goodness he survived the 6.8 earthquake. 300 buildings were leveled....700 people died while 6 were injured....wait a minute...sorry, it's the other way round. But then again, at 6.8 anyone would expect that much right? Damn.....I chose the wrong place for a Uni.

Like I said, either god hates Japanese for some reason that only god knows....or that they drew a short straw a billion years ago. Well, at least the got the girls to wear miniskirts all the time so to convince people remain on this island.

I own a handphone....do I?

Haha...Chong Shen, you've finally become what I once was. Bordering between lameness and crapness. So, I suppose your friends now complain about your jokes being lame but miss you the instant you grow silent. You have come a loooong way from "Randy, can you be quiet? I'm trying to do my work here." You know, I can't help but think that you are some sort of my creation. Just like the mad scientist created Frankenstein. And speaking of ironically cruel twist of fate, I became you! Being quiet most of the time with a book in hand. I bet no one saw this coming!!!

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I assume that most of you own a handphone or mostly, your handphone own you. Have you ever been in a situation where you are out and realize that you left your handphone in the house? Then you just stop in your tracks and stand there thinking whether you should turn back to retrieve your phone or just go on (proves that you are dependent of your phone and that you can survive for one day without it). Well, it happened to me.

All my life....well, from age 17 anyway... I have been ignorant of my handphone, taking it for granted that it is just another accessory to decorate our already colourful life. I never took it too seriously....which practically means that I don't care too much about having a few scratches here and there. BUT...but never did I know, that once you buy a handphone, it possesses your soul and jealously cling to you, refusing to share space for any other thing. Much like the black stuff in Spiderman 3. Can't live without it, won't leave without it.

Yesterday, I was up at 6 in the morning, I had an appointment at 9 in Tokyo and the train ride there takes 2 hours. So, being influenced by the Japanese sense of godly punctuality, I arrived at the station at 6.40 to board a 6.50 train. And it was then when I realize...."Oh shit! I left my phone in my room!!" ....it takes about 30 minutes to make a round trip so it dawned upon me that I have either go through all the trouble just to get it, or "fuck it!! Who's gonna call me anyway?". Meaning to keep my appointment, I forget about the idea of having to cycle back and went on to board the train....NOT!!
You see, that moment, I realise that I'm one of the many suckers who couldn't bear THE BIG QUESTION OF LIFE. And that's precisely "Who's gonna call me??". With anxiety biting down in my ass, I cycled back with a hollow feeling knowing that My Phone Owns Me. Know what? They ought to name this as MPOM syndrome.....a message to the many philosophers who is still pondering the meaning of life, "Look in your gawd damn pockets!!!!!"

Sigh...so, yeah...my phone is the most important thing thing in my life. Lose my wallet, I still have money in my bank and I can always buy a new wallet....but lose my handphone, losing that contact list could mean the end of the world. Sigh...and double sighs....I guess that if anyone ask me to choose between my handphone and oxygen, I would no doubt choose the obvious one.............................oxygen....What? I know that it contradicts with the mood that I (deliberately) set for the this blog but, who on earth would choose handphone over breathing air? That's just plain stupid don't you think?


Well anyway, yeah....I'm a sucker and a slave to the most own electronic gadget on earth.

The joke that was (mis)understood...

Yeah...thanks guys. Really do hope that I will enjoy myself there...and not forgetting, hope that I will learn lots there.

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Know what's my favourite character in Pirates of the Caribbean?? No, not Elizabeth Swann (I do like her...A LOT... but not my favourite)....and definitely not Will Turner (I'm not gay.) So, is it Jack? Yeah, it's not him as well. So, that leaves either Capt. Barbosa or Kraken. So, I guess that many of you will guess Kraken since he's my far away cousin (for those who just knew me, I was nicknamed *Crab before)....and we spend most our childhood playing gasing and kejar-kejar....but, no to that as well. My favourite is Capt. Barbosa.

So, "Why Capt. Barby?" you might ask me. Well, here it is....remember part one where Capt. Barby was cursed, that no drink could cure his thirst, no women's flesh could warm (Yeah, not even Jenna Jameson) ...well, I was sort of cursed too and that struck me as a fair sort of similarity between us. My curse was that....as well known as I was for telling witty jokes and giving odd comments that so many people have been enjoying....I have never achieved the same glory in Japan. Any joke I told would be met with a stiff frown, every odd comment I give would tilt many heads along with a unanimous "huh?"....

For those of you in Japan, you might understand me when I say jokes originally told in English fall on deaf ears when translated to Japanese. And so I was cursed when I came upon the land of miniskirts. Every time I say something funny, it have been received with silence ....a silence as heavy as a plate of cold, unsalted noodles. And so I became quiet in class....I became the soulless guy who won't speak unless spoken to....in a state not quite dead but not exactly alive. (Capt Barby suffered the same thing ..)

But last weekend I rediscovered my gift. Long story short, all the foreign students went to a party where this one lady from London attended. I shall call her Anita (Didn't create it, she introduced herself as so.) Anyway, Anita and I were having simple, normal adult conversation about the food, culture, education system, politics...etc etc...when my dormant self awoken from extended hibernation. Even I, me, myself was surprised with the things I said. God knows (other than my own self of course) how much I enjoyed myself that night. Just by seeing other people laughing at my remark gives certain pleasure to me. Oh.....how I longed to be called Crap again! How I miss the times where people automatically smile when I approach them.

And then, I did something very brave...back in school, I tried telling my Japanese friends jokes again. With my new found confidence I told them a joke and guess what?.......They laughed!!......NOT!!!!! Once again I find myself in an awkward position of having to explain the stuff I said to them. THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!! I'm never telling another joke to a Japanese ever again. I'm never gonna suffer that cocked head asked "What?" anymore...


*Crap:
Funny, witty stuff ...in shorter words, nonsense. I pretty much told lots of crap during my highschool days, hence the nickname Crap.

A NUT in making...

The news is out...I passed!! Congratulations Randy indeed.....and heartfelt sorry for those who did not make it. Only half made it and I was in the "good looking" group. Ya know, now of all times that I hoped that my mother had named me Peter...or Patrick...or anything that starts with the letter 'P'. Then, my new nickname would be P-NUTS.

Despite of my short crap above feigning my excitement over my success, I'm not especially happy nor proud about it. Well, of course I'm thankful that they want me in their campus but....like I said, ain't happy bout' it. "And why is that so?" you may ask.....

After having gone through a very very ridiculous interview.....so ridiculous that it surprise me...me, the Ketam King of Melaka. Not even my most successful crap was as ridiculous as this. I mean........come on, difference of square root x??? Makes me wanna say WTF instead of answering. Dude, at least add in a "+1" and I won't feel so bad. Sheesh....what kind of campus that wou......oh right, I forgot, it's called NUT.

Well.....I guess there's nothing left for me to do except go dye my hair into a god-forbidden colour ( I meant brown.....god forbid every colour except black) and also go find myself some part time job to pass my time with.

Sigh....I should have prepared myself more. It's not that I didn't study but....just that, I studied but didn't know how good (or bad) I was and which varsity would suit me...and I ended up choosing the one which snow falls on in winter (my current campus doesn't) so that I could ski.....stupid huh?

Anyway.......CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Varsity blues...

Well, yes Kelly. It was that easy....and you won't believe how easy the other questions are. But then again, it's easy to enter but life gets a lil' tough once you're in.

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I'd like to dedicate this entry to some of my friends who passed the UEC(University of Electrical Communications...or was it electronics...) entrance exams today. 4(out of 5) of my Malaysian friends and a Mongolian colleague of mine. WELL DONE LADS!!!!

But like all my other blogs...my good news are like salad, they don't come without "dressing". And this one's "spicyyyy".

Among those who took the test, there was one whom I thought would pass. I mean, anyone would've bet on her to pass...she was top student back in M'sia and is still one of the best in her campus. But then, out of everyone's surprise...I assume everyone's surprise....she failed the test! Makes me wonder how could she have failed when her studies is better?

Hmm.....I thought up on a few reasons why she failed.
1. Satan is clearly involved.
2. The interviewer didn't think she was cute enough.
3. She froze when they ask her for her name...
4. She got too caught up with couplehood. You know the song......I wink, you wink....I dream of you, you dream of me....I jump, you jump....these stuff can really do some serious damage( as well as leave a sweet scar that will make you feel glad that you met that person).

Sigh....feel sorry for her though. Hope that she will do better at her next test. All the best yo...

ANYWAY....my turn's tomorrow. Will know if that "easy as a breeze interview" will blow pass me or not. And now's the time when one can say that a hurricane approaching is a blessing. BUT....but if it does blow pass me.....I'm doomed. I just realize that if .....IF i fail, I will be totally unprepared to take another. Been wasting time watching movies and typing this. You see, most of my seniors and friends have been telling me that anyone foreign student, me included, who take the test for NUT will surely pass, unless I cut my tongue the day before and is unable to speak....but what they failed to tell me was that there were only 2/3 applicants at that time!! My group had 8! This means that my passing rate is 37.5% at best.

Sigh...and another sigh.....wish me luck fellas. Let's hope they like a crazy crap like me in a NUT campus.

Interview for NUTS

Nuts....all my life(22 years, 3months 16 days and counting) I've been believing that fate a.k.a destiny do not exist...same goes for god..... but I do respect other people's religion and believes. And all my life, I've been believing that I'm in control of my life...that I'm at the helm of my own destiny. Believing that whatever happened, happened entirely by chance...not because of some essay god wrote about my life in English Composition class.

Oh...how wrong was I.....

You see, just last week, I attended an interview session for Nagaoka University of Technology, NUT. And if I pass...which I positively, confidently believe that I will, gonna cry if I don't (Ern Suey and Audrey, chance for you guys to take a pic of me crying and make fun of me forever)....if I pass, I'm going to be a NUT Student....thus the term NUTS. I'm gonna be a nuts....

Sigh....I mean, I knew I was crazy and things that I say can be a lil' weird sometimes...but never did I suspect that I will be officially called nuts when by 23!! Sheesh...every now and then, a memory of someone saying "Hahaha...Randy, you're nuts!" comes back haunting me. I guess...I guess fate really do exist...and I'm doomed to tell jokes and factual nonsense forever...never maturing and discuss politics like most adults do.

ANYWAY.....about the interview, it was pretty easy. Too easy as a matter of fact. Makes me wonder..."Did they make it easy for foreign students?" or was it "They are going to fail me anyway so they were not wasting time on me by asking me difficult stuff?". Think I'm paranoid? Well, the following is actual conversation of me and the interviewer;

Interviewer: Ok Randy, what is 'm' in physics?
Me: Mass....
Interviewer: Ok , what is 'a' in physics then?
Me: Acceleration?
Interviewer: Good...good....now what is product of 'm' and 'a'
Me: Force...
Interviewer: WRONG!!.....it's Newton's First Law!!! Hahahahahah.....
Me: .......*what the f***?!!!!


See? He was just making a fool of me....oh? did I mention that I was the last person of the group to be interviewed? Well...I was. Guess he was tired and was just trying to have fun.....it's possible, right? He HAVE been spending a lot of years at NUT. Oh, did I also mention that he was head of department? Well...that makes him a NUT Head....

Whatever those nut heads had in mind, really hope I pass. And the place there is quite nice...not too busy like Tokyo (It's like medieval war there every time the light turn green, two sides rushing at each other with briefcases)...and not too quite, they're gonna build a big cineplex there....and uhh....MGS girl's there. Remember MGS girl? My senior who studied at the same place at mine...mentioned her in my blog last time. Anyway, she graduated and furthered her studies there....so there I am!!

Reincarnation of the CRABBED!!!!

Well, ok, I lied when I said I was gonna end my blog forever. But then again, those of you who know me well enough (bout 2 hours is considered well enough) , y'all should know better than to trust me right?

Actually, I've started blogging on Friendsters....then one of my fr...ok, Jeremy Cheong told me that he hates Friendsters' blog so I decided to revive my blog here. And why would I do that for a guy? I mean....I'm not gay....or am I?...Haha....hmm....sorry, that was a bad joke. It wasn't even funny.

Anyway, gonna blog here from here now onwards......

The toughest interview in the world.

That’s right guys. I’m having my brains scanned and my speech ability analyzed tomorrow morning to determine if I have what it takes to be a NUT. Btw, NUT stands for Nagaoka University of Technology. Not Nail Under Trimmed or Naked Under Tree…or just a nut.

Anyway, the interview’s gonna be like a biological warfare!!! Apparently, someone out there doesn’t want me to be a nut, so he/she released a toxin agent to contaminate the campus ground so as no one could be interviewed tomorrow. How did he/she did it? and What kind of toxin agent did he/she used??

Well, one student got down with measles. Allow me to repeat…ONE student got sick so they close down the entire campus. I wonder what for…Do they think that measles virus(or bacteria I don’t know which) will die if they don’t make polka dots on someone’s face for 4 days? If that is their mentality, then they are literally nutheads and I’ve clearly chosen the wrong place to be!!

Anyway, wish me luck for tomorrow. Hope that the interviewer is either gay or lonely as I have been working out recently. I’ll be flexing my left breast for "Good Morning" and my right breast for "Hi, my name is Randy and please feel free to touch"…

The fragile little thing we call life

Dudes, chics, my fellow buddies….just a few days ago, my house in Melaka was mugged by some knife wielding nuthead. Fortunately, my dear mum wasn’t hurt in this event.

Story’s like this. My mom headed to the neighbour’s to do stuff all women like to do, gossip and share food they cooked for lunch. So, thinking that she’ll be there for just a while, she left the door ajar. Then came along a knife wielding nuthead with a nutty smile thanking his good luck as he ponders how much can he rob off my house . Not long after he broken in, my mom returned to tend to lunch only to find out that she’s the one facing the chopping block this time.

The nuthead then does what you saw in the movies, he seizes my mom’s throat and threatened her with his knife so that she won’t shout. That nutty guy really thought that that "Don’t shout or else" threat would work? Of course my mom shouted. I mean, anybody would shout when panicked right? Fortunately, one of my neighbours heard my mom and ran in. All my neighbours know that my mom doesn’t shout unless me or my brother’s home.

Seeing that my neighbours have been alerted, he did the smartest thing he ever did in his entire ..um…20 nut years? 30 nuts maybe ….of life. I would have personally thanked him for that act if I were there. He dropped the knife and ran off leaving my mom unhurt. She’s all shaken up but luckily only emotionally hurt. Phew…what a relief. But seriously, if I were there, wouldn’t thank him but will beat the crap out of him. Then call in the cops, have him jailed and pray that he will get raped by them inmates in jail.

Boy, was I shocked when I heard this first-hand from my mom. Out of a sudden, "Hello, Randy? Have you taken your dinner? Anyway, do you know, I almost died today…" It’s a real blessing that my mom was left unhurt. Thank god he implanted a few good brain cells in his nutty brains before he was born. That few brain cells was what that suggested that he drop the knife and not hurt my mom.

24 days later...

You know that movie "28 days later" ?? The one about people turning into zombies? The one with people being eaten alive and all?? well, I like that movie…

Anyway, 24 days here means days since I last blogged…just couldn’t find the time. I was busy with an impossible assignment. WELL, not "Tom Cruise Impossible" but "George Clooney " kind of impossible. When I went to hand up my report, my lecturer was in a very very good mood and he decided to ask me all kinds of questions (regarding microcomputers and algorithm). Just because I did ONE experiment with him he thinks I know EVERYTHING about microcomputers!!! Aw, you should have seen me there sweating my ass off for one hour trying to answer his question. Imagine that, one hour date with your lecturer talking bout’ stuff that he got masters degree for. Sigh….guess all I can say was thanks to my years of crapping, I managed to pull through.

And directly after my ordeal (yes, I think the word ordeal would suit my experience pretty well) with my lecturer, it’s exams!!! Well, wasn’t so bad i guess….I think i did pretty well cept’ my last paper. Did not see it coming. The numbers and words just flew out of the paper and SPLAT!! Right in the face….

And guess what happened after that?

A. Went out for a movie and found out why Capt. Jack Sparrow have the surname Sparrow…I mean, that’s a bird right? why would anyone have take a bird for a name? Yeah , I know he’s a pirate but only allow him a parrot on the shoulder right? Or maybe because he hated birds, but since pirate captains are suppose to carry birds, he stuck it to his name.

B. Went out for billiard and do what guys love doing best, hitting them balls with a stiff stick. Ever wondered why we like hitting balls so much? Think of it, except rugby and ice hockey, every major sport involves hitting a small round ball that’ shaped like….well, a round ball.

C. Went to bed after one week long of staying up but only slept for an hour cause I dreamt of numbers. Guys have been known to dream of anything….and I mean "anything" but never …..NEVER anything about studies. Well, if our lecturer was young and attractive, we might dream a little about "studies" but not about numbers with the "lecturer" absent right?

Golden Week 2007 : Chinese Gathering

Golden week have always been a golden opportunity for us to meet up with each other. Dudes and chics from far away, like William and Fong Zyin (I thought she looked great!!) who had to cheat their way through the train system just to go to Tokyo. They had to pretend to sleep when the conductor was making his rounds. Haha…great story though.

Anyway, this gathering was great.
You see, we have always chosen Yoyogi Park as a gathering place. In my two years in Japan, we must have gathered there for like….4 times. And we have to sit under the same tree….4 times in a row. Even the tree started to hate us! "Aww….shit, it’s the same people again!! I better drop some leaves in their drinks to shoo them off. Wait. What if I drop a branch on that tall fella over there…."

You see, the 1st and 2nd time I had to be there was okay, but the 3rd time I had to go there, I started thinking of excuses so that I don’t have to attend….but I attended anyway (One of my seniors is really pretty, won’t mention who but she’s worth sitting under the same tree and getting hit by a branch).

BUT this time….thanks to Richard, we had our gathering at a spacious hall, which was a very very refreshing change. We have chairs instead of plastic mats!!! Well, we also had OHP, so the introduction of juniors was done nicely too….no more awkwardness of having to stand in front of a group of strangers who won’t pay attention. Among them was a tall guy, Calvin’s the name….and when I say tall, I mean taller than me…by 13cm! Wow, never had to look up to anyone before, but this is how it must have felt when other people had to talk to me. No offense here….

We also had a bunch of silly games….no, I’m not trying to be cute, they’re really silly. Like "rock-scissors-paper" stuff….that was, just, pure lame. But everyone had fun there so I guess it wasn’t too bad. Fortunately we had Richard who made it up with his ‘TALENTED’ singing. Is a disaster trying to sing a song in another language . It’s a wonder how on earth can anyone sing so bad that the audience won’t mind and ACTUALLY…. actually thought it was cute!! Hmm….Remember William Hung who sang "She Bangs" in American Idol? He was cute.

Though…it was kinda disappointing not getting to talk to seniors. Just not enough time. Wanted to spend more time talking to Seng Chye and Andrew but I only had a minute to spare for each. As for the juniors, well, they stayed at the hostels there so we had the whole night with them. OH, oh… before I forget, my GAWD the juniors are so childish!!! or maybe because I’m too old for those kind of behaviour anymore…..but gawd damn!! Things that they talk, having interest in nothing but Japanese sex, gossiping like there’s no tomorrow. Sigh…it was great fun to be with them nonetheless. Makes me wonder…was I like this when I first came to Japan?

I have one last comment before I end this.Why is that I must speak Chinese as if my life depends on it? I mean no offense nor insult here, but you see, I grew up speaking English, and I am very…VERY comfortable speaking English when I’m conversing with people. But when I meet up with the Chinese community, I am instantly labeled banana….guys who’s born Chinese but can’t speak fluently and must feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to. Well, it’s not like I chose to be one right? And It’s NOT like I’m proud that I can speak English better.
Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t mind speaking Chinese…and I actually enjoy speaking in Chinese. But the thing that really irks me off is when someone tells me that I should speak Chinese just because I’m a Chinese. If someone comes over and tell me, "I’m more comfortable speaking Chinese, can you speak to me in Chinese?", I’d give him a very big smile and make him my friend forever. But sadly, most come over and say "You’re a Chinese, can you speak to me in Chinese?". And worse, they tend to criticize instead of "Let me help you improve".

Hmm….am I wrong to feel irritated by this? I have kept this in me for a very long time….and this is just not the stuff to say out loud in public. Since only close friends read my blog, I trust you guys enough to read this and not discriminate me, and not to go round telling everyone….*hint *hint.

Anyway….next blog, I’ll be posting pics and hopefully, video of Richard ’singing’!!!

Cheers.

Being Fat sucks...

On the contrary of the title…I’m not exactly…you know, fat. It’s just that I feel fat. I mean I’ve never really thought of myself being fat but after a game of basketball last night, my thoughts changed. Everything changed…

I can’t run, I can’t jump, I can’t shoot properly….GAWD it’s awful. And my waist still hurts from playing too much basketball (1 hour). Now I feel my cheeks are too puffy, my abs is bulging out too much, I wobble as I walk, and I keep looking at my pants… wondering when I’ll be able to wear them again. My good friend from high school (Ern Suey) have always told me that I was fat…didn’t really believed her that time but damn…reality can really hit you like a basketball thrown at your guts!! Well…about that, I don’t think that’s a very good expression. My friend threw a b.ball at my guts and it didn’t really hurt cos`, you know…..fats can act as a shock absorber.

ANYWAY, not that I’m just complaining…I’m actually working on getting rid of it. I ‘m trying to eat less, trying to get more exercise and I’m trying not to indulge in potato chips. Man….trying can be really hard. Haven’t really achieved anything yet but at least I can be proud that I’m trying right?? Hmm…I wonder…I feel fat because I can’t play basketball as much as I
used to or is it because of the jap culture? Japanese guys here fret and fuss about a lot after only putting on an extra kilo or two. Last week when we had a physical test, they all (guys and girls alike) gathered round and compared their body weight…commenting on how much they put on since last year. And uhh….I was one of them…heh heh.

Sigh….I hope I lost a few milligrams of fats typing all this…..

Job Fair 2007

5Wow…..so much have happened these few days I have trouble remembering them all. But being an avid PC user since I 13, I have adopted the PC way of remembering things….I partitioned part of my brains to Brain:\Cerebrum\GoldenWeek\JobFair2007 and Brain:\Cerebellum\GoldenWeek\Gathering.

guess I’ll access files from Job Fair first…

Early this year, I became one of the committee member for MSAJ, namely Malaysian Students Association Japan. This spring…well, last week actually, we successfully organized a Job Fair. A kind of fair where companies set up booths for undergrads to check out for jobs….AND companionship as well. I personally witnessed "couple in making" there.

Anyway, being one of the committee member, I was put charged in power supply to booths and distribution of lunch. But really, I did much much more than that. I was the unofficial ‘bouncer’ of the day, garbage disposal and also pest control. Hmm…What does it mean by pest control? It’s not like there’s bunch of roaches came looking for job in Malaysia right? (though I secretly guessed that they would eat better there). I will explain soon enough…

Okay, let’s do things chronologically shall we?

May 3rd,
I knew that the seminar was going to be a tough challenge when several committee members came late to our meeting. (Sigh…old habits die hard) But never mind that, we manage to brief and sort things out by midnight anyway. We all also mentally prepare ourselves for the big day next day. It’s gonna be a loooong day.

May 4th, opening time,
About the ‘mentally prepare ourselves’ part, that was a figure of speech cause’ we had to call a few who’s apparently late and ask them "What time will you be coming". Anyway, event hall opened and we all rushed in to set things, namely reception and power supply to booths. I personally take pride in the fact that we managed to get the booths set up without any major hiccups.

However….

I was doing my rounds asking company representatives if they are ready to receive the students. Most were already seated and their laptop fans were humming their blades in anticipation. Most gave me steady nods coupled with confident smiles… good for them, now, I reached Proton’s booth, only to find out that was in the same shape as I left them with! GAWD, I can almost here the walls wail with agonizing loneliness as they have not set anything up yet!!!

Me: Erm…sudah siap dengan….nampaknya belum siap lagi kan?
Proton: *smiling happily* Rep kita tak datang lagi…
Me: 5 mimit lagi student masuk….
Proton: Boleh tunggu tak?
Me: Excuse me?!!
Proton: Rep kita tak sampai lagi, boleh tunggu sampai rep datang?
Me: 5….4minit lagi student masuk. Good luck.

Few minutes later….

"Excuse me, Kamu ada nombor telefon rep kita tak? …"

All I can say about them is "Wow….." If anyone went to see Mona Lisa’s painting after that, he/she would know what Mona Lisa was smiling about!!!

May4th, noon time…
Lunch time….Oh lord, What a sight to see. You see, students who attended the fair all wore blazers with tie and shiny leather shoes. Seems that in order to eat…they had to take off their shoes, sit in groups ON THE FLOOR outside the hall, not forgetting to sembang and lepak there after eating. Being Malaysian to the last, they had to leave their rubbish on the floor. Although not all, those numbers who left them were significant enough.

I was unfortunate enough to meet the hall manager (the president was conveniently away at the moment). He was smiling that smile…ya know, that smile when you see something utterly shocking and unbelievable…and asked, "So, these guys are looking for job today? Hahaha….can you please make sure they clear up? Please clear up.." Sigh, he must have sensed that there was nothing could be done about it.

By the way, did I mention something about "pest control"? This was it.

May 4th, closing time…
After witnessing Proton that morning, I decided to inform them of closure one hour before closing time. One of the committee members told me it’s too early to start telling them to pack but….after what I saw in the morning, I mean, who could trust them to pack on time, right?

This time with Perodua, 5.00 pm

Me: Sila pastikan semua clear sebelum pukul 5.30. Harap Maklum.

Perodua:La...tunggu kejap. Tunggu satu lagi group habis baru kami pack…

Me: Tak boleh, kita mesti clear semua sebelum masa tu…harap maklum.

At 5.25 pm…they have packed, an amazing feat worth getting award for, but were sitting around chatting instead.

Me: Maaf ganggu, tapi kami dah nak tutup dewan ni…
Perodua: la dik…kejap lagi la. Angkat beg ni, terus boleh keluar. Kejap je…
Me: *losing patience* Maaf, tak boleh tunggu lagi. Sila keluar dari dewan sekarang.

Well, informing them one hour before closure, turn out I made the right decision after all….we manage to clear by 5.30. PHEW!!!

But all in all…..I have to say congrats to the team who made it happen. Was a big event and we manage to pull through. GOOD JOB GUYS!!!!

Hazardous Life

Anyway, yeah….I met another accident. And yes it involves my pair of skates. Almost all bad stuff that happens to me involves my skate. First was burning a hole in my wallet (cost me 20k to buy that piece of crap with wheels), the second was scraping my chin against the pole….well, this time is fall on pebbles while having a stupid smile stuck on my face.

"Oh, that’s not so bad…I’ve fell on pebbles before as a kid and I didn’t even cry!!"….yeah, you might think that way but you weren’t moving 25 km/h that time did ya? Hah…I thought not. The victim this time is my right elbow…have a nasty 4×9 cm gash that constantly oozes some kind of fluid. Think I’ll call them Randy juice for the sake of being funny…..lame? so lousy a joke that you can’t laugh? Guess what? I ain’t laughing either…(it hurts!!)

Sigh…guess I’ll let nature punish me a little while longer before deciding to heal me.

In other news….an association in which I’m a committee member (MSAJ-Malaysian Student’s Association Japan) is organizing a Job fair tomorrow. Just in case you’re wondering, I’m not the one calling the shots….another unlucky fella is. Oh, how much do I not envy him….he’s like
a nervous wreck!! Using letters THIS SIZE and colour when messaging his subordinates…Well, good luck to him and hope everything goes well tomorrow. For those (MSAJ members) reading this, please don’t tell him I said that….

Oh look!! A Pole!!!

Anyway, latest stuff about me is that I hit a pole. You see, I had too much money and since I don’t invest them in the local market (namely drugs and prostitution), I instead waste them on a pair of roller blades….you know, that cute looking shoes with wheels on it.

So, I was going down a slope….a narrow slope actually, and as you know, my good friend gravity thought that it was fun to give me a little shove. The moment I realize that I was going too fast on a narrow slope with no room to maneuver….I was on a collision course with an oncoming car. Not wanting to hit a car (not fat enough for that feat yet)….I chose a pole instead. Long story short, I ended up being ‘kissed’ roughly by the pole.

I guess I was lucky to have avoided a nasty accident and should be thankful…..but my chin seemed to think that my legs should have suffered instead. In case i break a leg, well…I have a spare one while I only have one chin.