Yet another choice in life...

I was sitting in the bullet train heading home after a presentation at a joint research facility. To summarize it, it was well received...along with the usual “Would you like to work for us after you graduate?”

Anyway, as I heading back home on a snowy night, I started reflecting back on my life so far. Maybe it’s because it was the end of my long one year’s work, maybe it’s because my 26^th birthday is approaching(Getting older!!), or maybe it’s because my seniors are graduating and going away…what ever the reasons are, it is at this times where I rewind.

I was thinking to myself, “It’s been 6 long years since I left Malaysia, and god damn it I’ve come a long way!!”

I can never forget that day on New Year’s Eve as I sat on a flight of stairs at Dataran Merdeka, Malacca, pondering about my future as I watched the fireworks light up the skies. 

One lone spark of light bursting into a thousand possibilities.

I just graduated from high school that year and it was as if I was that firework, shot up bright and proud into the dark of the night...and I've risen to a point where I was about to burst, was about to decide what I want to do for my future. Well, at that point, it was a tough choice of either private college or the local university, and what major to go into.

Guess what? My spark ended up lighting the skies thousands of miles away.

Until today, I can never figure out what was it that truly drove me to apply for overseas studies…much less the reason for choosing Japan. I’ve been asked many times by many people about why I chose to come to Japan, and in response, I’ve given many answers…none of them real.

 My answers had a wide range of “could be true stuff”

• Wanting to learn a new language

• Malaysian cartoons are boring and that a country that could create Doraemon must be one hell of an interesting place, where the mind is free to imagine and create

• Want to see how is it that Tokyo is rebuilt by Thursday 5p.m each week after Ultraman destroys the city

• Sexy legs in mini skirts (Again, not a valid reason, but I’m glad I chose Japan. I can’t get enough of them!!)

• Naked fat guys grabbing each others tits, namely sumo….WHY???

• The all famous “Japan have greater technology than Malaysia, and I’m going over to learn so that one day I’ll be able to help progress Malaysia”…I’m actually ashamed when I had to say that. 

I don’t think there’s ever a real reason to why I chose to come to Japan. Just like what The Joker said in The Dark Knight,

“Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just…do things.”

After 6 years of living in Japan, I’ve come to know my true value, my strength…and recently, my weakness. I’ve met people who made me laugh, made me angry and made me cry. I’ve met people I’ve grown to respect, and I’ve met people I just want to slap. Oh, if I only had the chance…I would spread my legs a little, throw my right arm back, tense my muscle and then deliver one powerful slap that goes “thwack!!”

Well, what I’m trying to say is, going abroad have really taught me a lot about myself, especially about my weakness, and more importantly, to admit my own weakness. I gotta admit that I am a somewhat proud guy…always believing that I’m strong, that I can solve problems on my own, and that I’m above emotional setbacks. The event that led me to finally admitting that I’m weak destroyed whatever illusions I have about strength. It left a huge scar in my heart, a reminder that will forever haunt me. A harsh lesson, but a lesson to remember.

 

Thinking back, there weren’t many who supported my decision of coming to Japan. My family, some of my friends, my teachers…they all had a reason to why I should not choose Japan or why I should consider other country. Well, I’m really glad I ignored all the advices. Sometimes, you just have to know when not to listen….risky stuff though.

To be able to learn about oneself is truly valuable...for that reason, I'm really glad I chose to come to Japan.

Now, I stand once more at a point where I have to make yet another big decision: To go back home or to stay after graduation. My parents want me back, my friends are expecting me back, former Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir’s son, Mukhriz Mahathir told me Malaysia hope I’ll be back…but Japan have taught so much and I feel like there’s more to learn!!

So I guess I’ll stay a little while longer.

I promise I’ll “visit” Malaysia someday…haha

恋をしていない時間も、大切にしてください。

相手に届かない気持ち、
すれ違うお互いの気持ち。
どんなに想っていてもうまくいかない
「恋」もあります。
自身をなくして落ち込んだり、寂しさに
戸惑うこともあるでしょう。
でも、そんな時だからこそ、
もてる時間があります。
今まで、相手のことばかり考えていた毎日が、
自分のことを見つめる時間になる。
その時になって初めて、自分の弱さや、
周りの人の優しさに気がつくのです。
一つの恋を終えたばかりの人も、
今が、あなたにとって大切な時。
自分自身と正面から向き合える、
素敵な時間なのです。

変わらずに、あり続けること。


電車の中に読んだものです。
この詩、いい！！！
泣きそうでした～ (´＿｀｡)

Farewell Choi Choi!!

Woke up in the morning as usual at 7 a.m.
The morning air was still cold and I felt great reluctance to leave the warmth of my bed. I spent 5 more minutes in bed mustering all the willpower I had and was finally able to kick away my warm blanket. With my shivering hands I pulled back the curtains to allow sunlight into my cold, dark room.
It was raining slightly outside..."damn, looks like I have to take the bus to campus today" I thought to myself.

After that was all routine. The same thing everyone does in the morning, put the water to boil, take a shower, have breakfast with coffee...the same old mundane steps we each never fail to do in the morning.
The bus ride itself was a typical deja vu experience. The driver mumbling safety precautions, the old lady struggling to maintain balance while the bus moves, students with sleepy faces clinging on to their bags to their chests, which I'd imagine that they thought it was a pillow.
The bus once again reached the campus with haunting punctuality. Even after spending 6 years in Japan, it still fascinates me how the public transport system can be so efficient. Unless during winter when snow and ice are inevitable, the bus is never late for more than a few minutes.

I climbed the familiar stairs heading to my lab, hung my wet umbrella on the stand, took off my shoes and changed into my lab's flip flops. Then, I looked to the left, a habit I've developed over the past one year. I looked stupidly at the empty chair and dead monitor screen...and that's when I realized " Oh yeah...Choi choi's gone back home."
At that moment, I can't help but feel my heart cried just a little bit out of loneliness.

While the friendship that exist between me and Choi choi's was nothing special, we did enjoy each others company. I would poke fun at her with otherwise cruel remarks and she would come up with something funny or witty to say. Oh, the things she would say!!!
It was a tiny nothing, but it was something to look forward to in the mornings.

I still remembered the first time we met. I asked her for her impression towards me and she said "pervert, liar, bad guy, disgusting..." and I myself have said uncomplimentary things, both which was nothing good and quite childish now that I think about it. But it was based on those childish remarks that our unique friendship was built on.

While not many, we've shared quite a few fond memories. The weekly parties among foreign students, a triple date with Dino, Megumi, and a Japanese couple from Yamaguchi, the many times where I cause small quarrels between her and Dino, the time where she was assaulted and I helped her make a report....
Yeah...we definitely shared quite a few fond memories.

9 months or so have passed since she first came, and as they say "Fond times passes quickly". It was at last time so bid farewell to each other. I'm definitely most glad to have met her as she left a big splash of color on my life's canvas. Leaving a bright, vibrant color to my otherwise mundane life in campus.



I wish her all the best and I hope for all the good things to come.
Goodbye Choi choi!!

Learning how not to give a fuck...

This past 9 months have been a particularly interesting one.
I've been happy, sad, love, hate, confident and insignificant...all at the same time.

You see, I fell in love deeper than I've ever did in my life.
I had a wonderful girlfriend and we did almost everything together...she showed me a world so beautiful and full of happiness. I was actually happier than Barack Obama when he won the presidency.
Then she showed me how dark and cruel a girl can be.

We were happy with each other for about half a year, when suddenly, she started getting irritated about almost everything I do!! It's not like I changed suddenly or did anything outrageous...I walked the same, talked the same, acted the same. While we always had our private laughter between us, this time it was replaced with petty quarrels.
I knew from the start that we're different in personalities; I'm the kind of guy who celebrates human differences, she preferred uniformity. But we did do ok for most part.
Well, I guess you can say that I'm like the US while she's like the rest of the world, everyone using the SI system while I stuck to pound and inches.
Like oil and water, you can forcefully mix them up, but eventually the oil will float up again.
Needless to say, my eccentricity made her tired and our difference drove her away from me.

But what the hell...some things just aren't meant to be.
Just like Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, can't manage to stay together...and they were both Sexiest Man and Woman of the year!!

After breaking up, all I wanted was for us to remain friends. But instead, I've got the cold shoulder...she downright ignored me at every moment possible. Not even a "hello" when we met again at a party one and a half month after "Armageddon".
I confronted her, asking her to not give me the cold treatment and let's just be normal friends...I mean, what the hell? We've known each other for so long and suddenly we can behave like friends no more??

She got angry and we got into a quarrel again.
The issue once again me being different from everyone else.
She was annoyed at me because of other people's misunderstandings. What the hell have other people's misunderstanding have got to do with me??

But I've always loved her...even after she broke my heart. Oh, who am I kidding...I worshiped her. And so I started to take her words very seriously and honestly thought that I'm the bad one...
I thought that my character really is fucked up and I started to hate myself.
I lost sleep, appetite and motivation to do anything at all...
To be very honest, I was going crazy(yes I loved her THAT much)...
The only thing that kept me sane was my few brief, but very important times spent with some friends. The other times when I'm alone, her words and my mind takes over.

Then, I came upon an ancient wisdom used by men since the beginning of civilization.
"Why worry? How about try not giving a fuck?"
I mean, she for one didn't give a fuck. She found a boyfriend a little too soon after the breakup(very very suspicious)....and nothing says "I don't give a fuck" more than that.

I've always been good to her...
I stayed up late at nights just to cook for her after she finishes work.
I made myself available whenever she faces work stress.
I've even decided to stay in Japan just to be with her. This was a pretty big deal to me...and making this decision was a really difficult one. (Interestingly, she left me just when I was about to begin job hunting.)
And yet she decided that she can't get over the little differences between us despite the things I've done for her. She let the small quarrels we had in a short time take over the good things I've done for her in a long time.

Aww fuck it, I'm done blaming myself. That's it. Enough.



I am who I am...I'm proud of who I am, and will forever be the way I am.

I would like to say a special thanks to a special friend Yumiko who stuck by me all the way.
Without her, I would have no doubt done something stupid.

Job hunting in Japan.

When I first set out for Japan, I decided that I would finish my degree, then work in Japan for 5 years, then head back to Malaysia to finally enjoy a plate of authentic Nasi Lemak...

After my diploma, during my undergrad, I realized that "Shit!! I still don't know what I want!!". And it was either I start job hunting or pursue my masters.



My university offers a half year internship program for those who wants to do masters. Those who plans to stop at degree will have to write a thesis instead of the internship. I thought that the half year internship could help me figure out what I really want in life...so I registered for masters program.
If you are thinking "Why not do internship, then quit? That way, you can get your degree without writing a thesis AND you get to do the internship"
Well, that is possible but it would be messy...and it would hurt the chances of Malaysians who are trying to get into my Uni in the future...

Anyway, I went for internship...and boy, I made the right choice. I finally knew what I want...and I pursued masters.

Now, I'm facing what I avoided 2 years ago...job hunting.
And let me tell you...it's a pain in the ass!!


*Read in National Geographic kind of voice
(Job)Hunters on the prowl...armed with sharp pens and a hard folder, they pursue their prey from sunrise till sundown. These hunters usually dressed in their hunting attire when they go for the hunt...a pair of leather shoes, business suits and a tie. These hunters often stalk their prey for months before they attack. However, if these hunters fail to make the kill, many will hide in recluse...refusing to even see the light of day.

Job hunting in Japan starts freaking early...too damn early. Students here start job hunting a year and a half before graduation!! That's right, right after finishing the first semester after enrolling, you have to begin worrying about job hunt. What a load of crap...this practice pressures students to engage in job hunt during college and most will not get to experience a normal college's life.
What the hell Japan...everything is too early here. They can't wait for their fish to cook, they start decorating for Christmas in October, start job hunt more than one year before graduation, arrive 10 minutes before an appointment, ejacul....ehem, let's leave this part out.

In all seriousness, I think Japan have this practice because they have that tendency to begin everything in Spring, or early April to be precise. Companies and corporates all over Japan, even schools, have welcome ceremonies for newcomers in Spring. So, they selfishly wants to recruit by then. Since recruiting during the last few months in the final semester is just plain cruel, they decided to do the lesser of the 2 evil, begin recruiting a year before.



The process of job hunting here is:
1. Survey various companies or attend a job fair. Identify the companies you want to apply for.

2. Send in entry sheets.

3. Attend a special explanatory seminar in the head or branch office. This is usually done on business days. Yes, this means skipping classes.

4. Attend interview and exams.

5. Attend second interview.

6. Start working for them 1 year later.

Yup, 6 simple steps. Sounds easy...except that the whole process takes about 4~6 months!! And you are applying for dozens of companies!!! You can see here that job hunting in Japan is a waste of money and energy. If you are aiming for a job far away, well, good luck traveling 3~4 times there.

So, you can see here that with this amount of time and energy required, college students can't undergo a normal college life and that they can't concentrate fully on their studies. Furthermore, applicants are evaluated based on their past performance, not their achievements during the last year in University. So, that means that if you have a shitty record in your previous school, and if you can't get a job...you can do your best and be the best god damn student in Japan and still be jobless after graduation, just because you missed the job hunt window. What's the point of learning and maturing in University then?!!! Isn't that the point??

So, many of you asked, why does students in Japan sometimes commits suicide after failing a mere paper in high school??
Well, the answer is : pressure of society.
Society demands that we excel all the way...one misstep and your future is screwed. Such stress and pressure often push students over the edge when society should instead offer them a chance to improve.



Well, you can argue that students here commit suicide because of bullying. Yes, that's true but there are cases where a failed paper is the cause.

Recently, a bunch of students protested in Shinjuku, saying that they want to live a college's student's life. And that they did not enroll into college just to job hunt. Oh my heart goes for them...

But to be fair, there are a few of my Japanese friends here who say they like the way things are. They said that they hate spending time idling around for more than 1 week after graduation...now, this is the part where we all say "What the hell?!!"

So anyway, I'm job hunting at the moment. My choice of work will take me either to Aichi prefecture or here in Nagaoka. If I stay, well, I guess in 10 years I'll be the old one at the Uni's foreign students party....hahaha



Oh god, I wish I get a job here!!!

10 white pins and one angry charging ball...

Last weekend was once again a fun filled weekend.

Saturday was...well, I'll save Saturday's story for another time as that will definitely draw many surprises!!

Let's talk about Sunday instead.
Sunday was a fun-filled bowling competition!!

But first things first...a brief intro to it.

My university houses almost 200 foreign students, and we all know how much us foreign students hate to mix with other people when we're on foreign lands. Well, of course there are super friendly ones among us....but it's sad to say that if we are left alone, we will forever be among people of the same country.
I dare not say much about other country, but I've seen how Malaysians tend to stick among Malaysians. Well, not that it is a bad thing...you get to practice your mother tongue and not forget Bahasa Malaysia(like me, god help me but I can't speak proper Bahasa) But every single day for 3 years?? Why the hell did we choose to study abroad in the first place?!! Might as well stay in Malaysia...no offense here, just my opinion.

To counter this sort of thing, associations exist for foreign students where it acts as a platform for us to mingle and mix around both with locals(Japanese) and other foreign students....giving us a chance to widen our horizon and realize that the world is indeed a big place.
The same applies here in Nagaoka University of Technology...the association here is called NUTISA, which stands for Nagaoka University of Technology International Students Association.

And I'm proud to say that I'm the President of NUTISA for year 2010!!!


Some members are missing from the picture..

And as the president, I am given the responsibility of promoting communication among foreign students, and also with Japanese. Along with me are 14 core members from various countries such as Malaysia, Thai, Vietnam, Laos, Mongolia, Rwanda, Columbia, China...etc.

So, last Sunday, we organized a bowling competition as a get-to-know-each-other event. More than 30 people joined and we had a lot of fun, and also got closer to each other as we secretly hate the person who scored more than we do. For example, of all the foreign students here, I will always remember Jimmy from Mexico. That guy beat my ass in bowling...and I will never forgive him for it!! haha...

But seriously, I saw many people exchanging pleasantries and self introductions so, I guess the bowling balls did more than just knock down pins...;)
Yeah, it was a great event and it ended with smiles on everyone's faces.

Would like to make a special mention here for Tony, Fiona and Aline who handled the presents and drinks. David who did a wonderful job as the MC of the event....he wore a bright red shirt that really caught everyone's attention, and also. Thuy and her boyfriend for helping with group management. Chuka and Sun Sun for helping with monetary issues. Everyone did their part generously.

The president?? The president gave orders, then got busy enjoying bowling and flirting with girls.




See? Mr. President is busy...hahaha.

But seriously, the event was a success because of the work of many. Couldn't have done it without them!!

A simple guide to dating sites in Tokyo...

Truth be told....I don't really fancy Japanese girls.
Well, yeah I do have plenty of Japanese female friends but...the idea of dating one is somewhat...uninteresting.

During my 5 years stay in Japan, I've dated a few Japanese girls but none of them really struck me as "fun". or maybe I just hadn't had the luck to meet the fun ones...

Girls I have dated are cute but...the conversation is just plain boring. You know how I like to crack stupid jokes and throw silly puns...and Japanese girls mostly give me the "?" look on their faces.
And so, I've remained mostly single for the past 5 years...

But up until recently, I've dated a Korean girl...and man, Koreans are fun!! Not only my jokes are met with sincere laughter, she was cracking silly stuff of her own. And she was the spontaneous type...with her, I was able to have fun no matter where we went...even a trip to the historical museum...

Anyway, at the end of year 2009, we went for a trip around Tokyo...mostly places I've always wanted to go to but didn't because...well, felt it would be awkward to go without a girl in hand. This year however, having a girl in hand, I finally get to fulfill one of my dreams in Japan. I went to all the places I never got to before....

So, thought I share these here...^^
Oh, btw...I lost the pictures I've taken so, most pics here are stolen from the internet... sigh -_-;

1. Asakusa Temple

Also known as Sensoji Temple. If anyone ask me, I'd say this place is overrated. I mean, everyone heads there just to take a picture of that famous Kaminari gate.

As for the shrine itself, well, I've seen better ones...

But what makes this a good dating spot is the row of souvenir shops that leads to the shrine beyond this gate.


These shops sell everything from local cakes, sweet sake to various kinds of novelties. You don't have to buy anything, just simply browse through and I guarantee you that you will have a good time with your date here.

Oh, for those who are willing to spend, you take a ride around in rickshaws. About 3000yen or so for a 15minutes ride.

Btw, the word rickshaw originated from Japan. It is pronounced as riki-sha, which more or less sounds like rickshaw.

Also, things to watch out for is the Asahi Building. For those who don't know, Asahi is one of the leading brands for beer in Japan. And guess what their building look like...


Do I see a beer? Yes I do...

2. Akasaka
I LOVE this place....and there's plenty of reasons it.
Well, first of all I like the layout of the area...unlike Tokyo or Shinjuku, where I honestly think is a little bit messy, this area is well planned. I feel somewhat more relaxed here than when I am anywhere else. In Tokyo city center, you will somehow unconsciously walk at a faster pace...heck, everything you do there is faster. But in Akasaka, you have that mood to walk at a slow pace, taking in the city's view one small step at a time....



As for places to visit, Akasaka Sacas...
This place is a little bit pricey....but whoever told you to head there for the food/clothes right??
Well, this place is just plain pretty...especially at night. Plenty of affordable cafes around for light cakes and coffee. Also, there's a ice skating rink for those who feel like it. Very recommendable during winter nights.







Another place to visit is the shrine located nearby Akasaka Sacas. In my opinion, this is one of the very beautiful shrines I've been to.




Really...this is a nice place to go. It's not just the shrine and Akasaka Sacas, but the whole place itself is quite romantic.

3. Odaiba
The whole area of Odaiba is built especially for couples...at least I think so...haha.
Well, there are spots where a mini Statue of Liberty is located, a water fountain display, place from where you can get a good view of the rainbow bridge...

But among all, my favourite is Venus Fort.





Definitely the "must-go" place of all!!

This place is actually a shopping arcade with Venice style setting....minus the water. A very very pretty place to go dating. There's this one spaghetti shop located deep inside that I particularly like...one of the most romantic dinner I ever had...

4. Roppongi Hills
I've been here only at the end of the year when Christmas/New year celebration is still up so I can't say much else except...well, visit here during that time of the year.



If there's anywhere else that have a better Christmas atmosphere, I don't know about it. This place have got the whole open space filled with shops selling all kinds of Christmas novelties. Not to mention cakes and chocolates...the lights...the decos...you can truly feel something special in the air at this place.



The view here is much more beautiful than it looks on pictures. Oh yeah...you can trust me on this.

5. Disney Land/Sea

Mickey and friends....need I say more??
Anyway, info for those who don't know, Disney Land have better shows/parades while Disney Sea have better rides. You can meet Mickey at both sites, but certain characters at either sites. For example, Ariel only at Sea and Pooh only at Land.

6. Illuminations in Shinjuku
Mostly from early D Places where you get to see for free, or places where you have to pay a humble amount to get into. ecember onwards, there will be plenty of illuminations around.But if you are just looking for easy to access, non time-consuming, free but very beautiful nonetheless kind of place, I'd recommend Shinjuku Southern Terrace, located right beside Shinjuku station.




Note: Couple in hand is NOT me...



7. The other famous places around...
Harajuku, Shinjuku, Shibuya, Ginza....you know...the usual places where tourist are bound to visit anyways.

If there's anything worth mentioning, I'd say DON'T visit Akihabara...unless if your partner is the very open minded and adventurous one. Reason being that Akihabara is famous for Maid cafes and...well, 6-storeys porn shops with different theme for each floor. Porn don't make a good dating spot. Period.


Well, there you go, the simple guide to dating spots in Tokyo. All these should be about 3 days worth of going around...
By the way, I'm sure I've missed a few good places...so, feel free to share!!

And so the internship ends...

It has been 5 months since I started my internship at TOPY Industries.

And it has been a loooong 5 months. While some of my campus mates commented on how relax and fun work was at their companies, I had to do work right until the very last day...

Not that I'm complaining though....

Sure, there was a lot of work to do but I gained invaluable experience from the work I've done.

Okay, first a brief explanation of my work. The department I was placed in was in charged of R&D of standard steel wheels. You know how there are holes on the wheels?? My assignment was finding the best conditions on strengthening the holes to prolong its fatigue life so that the wheel will last longer.

Now, the plan for the project was already mapped out before I got there...and I could have had an easy and relaxed life just following that plan....but damn it, Randy have to "speak his mind" no matter what. What a pain in the ass.
Instead of following the planned experiments, I proposed a new idea, i.e. a new set of experiment parameters. After listening carefully to my idea, my supervisor agreed to my idea and allowed me to proceed any way I want. And since it was "my idea", my supervisor gave me full freedom to use the research budget. So, I designed my own experiment and spent a few hundred thousand yen of the company's money purchasing new machine parts.

Well, lucky for me things went as I planned(I did spend a lot of the company's money for this...so, there is pressure for me to produce worthy results)....and my new idea actually sparked a new debate on how to better manufacture that cute little hole on the wheel.

I did my last presentation was last week's Tuesday....finally, my task ended.

I have to say, I gained a very good experience during that 5 month long internship. Gave me a solid preview of what it meant to work in a Japanese company.

I also learned a lot on human relations, presentation skills...and most important of all, to be confident of my own ideas and not be afraid speaking them.

To think that I tried applying for overseas internship...I originally applied for India and Germany. But, from what I hear from my friends who went overseas, they didn't get to do as much. Yeah, getting to live in a foreign country for 5 month sounds cool...but I still think I'm lucky that I stayed in Japan as I got to work in an environment where I actually get to do some solid stuff.

Hah...I guess I did make the right decision to enroll into Nagaoka University of Technology after all as no other university offers the same internship program...

Now that internship has ended, life as a Masters student begins!!!

Crap....

An Appreciation of a Wonderful Life...

It’s been 5 months since my father had a major scare with his medical condition.

5 months ago, my father suddenly experienced a terrible headache, subsequent nausea and numbness in the legs. When scanned, doctors diagnosed a brain hemorrhage on his left side. He was sent to various hospitals in Malacca, but was promptly refused admission by reasons of absence of specialist, and the absurd "he's too risky".
He was considered "too risky" as he had a heart condition as well. He had a valve replacement and was under a certain medication that prevents blood clotting. But even that, there's no reason at all to not admit anyone seeking medical assistance!! That's the point of hospitals, right?? I will forever harbour grudge against hospitals that care for reputation above duty.

Anyway, he was then admitted to Prince Court Medical in Kuala Lumpur. A very very VERY costly place...but considering the job they done on my dad, I’d say it was worth it. After all, what is money for if not to spend??

I was a coincidence that this tragedy occurred at the end of my semester. With just one class and last presentation to go, my lecturers graciously accepted my request to have my presentation done earlier so that I can get to my dad as soon as possible. I would like to thank a dear family member, Walter Theseira, who generously sponsored my flight back to Malaysia and helped me get those tickets with such short notice.

My flight back was...dramatic. What happened was, my flight got cancelled. Who could have imagined any interference at a time like this!! Meeting my dad would have to be delayed by 2 days.

You see, my dad knew I was coming back to see him and being anxious, any delay would undoubtedly cause anxiety and stress which would exacerbate his condition! You could say that the flight cancellation was...untimely.

However, the smile I saw on my dad's face when I finally got there makes all the trouble seemed trivial.

During my stay in Kuala Lumpur, another close family member offered his place to my mother and I to stay. He also kindly, and patiently taxied us to the hospital and back every single day. He is a working man, and we all know how busy Kuala Lumpur’s traffic can be...and yet he was always telling jokes and making us laugh. I can't imagine a more difficult task than trying to tell jokes while swallowing your own stress. When we expressed our appreciation, he always replied a heart warming "We're family."

My going back was mostly daily trips to the hospital, cheering up my dad and giving him strength. It was then when you really understand the true significance of family bonds...and also genuine friendship. During his stay in the hospital, many friends and family members visited him, people who would take the trouble to come all the way just to offer mental support to a dear friend. It envies me to see my dad surrounded by such beauty of life, making me wonder if I will have mine when my time comes. Heck, even MY friend went to visit him.

And so, he underwent an inevitable surgery but made out of it without any recurring complications. The doctor who performed on him was very unusual. Doctor Jack, we called him. He was the kind of man that would say anything straight forwardly, not tolerating any kind of nonsense...even his own. Have never seen him telling white lies just to ease our mental state, he'd just come right out with the harsh facts, speaking in percentages and various numbers concerned. He scolded my dad a few times for his pessimism and another family member for umm…trying to win favour from the doc(Hospitals are the worst place ever to play politics). Fills my heart with respect for him every time I think of his straightforwardness

That was 5 months ago...

My dad grew stronger and could do all kinds of daily activities back again.
I guess it's safe to say now that my dad has completely recovered.

I would like to say thanks to the many people who have given their support during that time of need. To families and friends who visited him. To a relative who offered his hospitality and warmth. To Walter who supported me in every way. To the doctor who saved my dad’s life. To the doctor who tended to his sutures without any charge. To a consultant that is never too tired to received my father's constant calling. To Samson who came personally to visit. To Kulvinder who gave me company that evening, which was the one thing I needed most that time. To Danny, Kenny, Ern Suey, Ai Jun, Chong Shen for taking me out, making me drink that horrible coffee. To Audrey for the brief car ride. To Cindy(not your Cindy, Chong Shen, but another Cindy) for being there.
And of course, to all my friends who lend their support via messages in facebook(I read them to my dad).

Thank you.

A Trip to Imou Bog...

I first visited Imou Bog for the purpose of looking wild miniature flowers. My trip there ended up in a big disappointment as I realized that I did not have the interest of hunting for small flower and that Japanese photographers had once again tricked me into thinking it is a nice place.


The REAL Imou Bog...so very different from the photograph above...

The bog boasts natural seasonal flowers which were grown and cared for by Mother Nature herself. Lured by this, I made my way there only to find tiny little flowers among grasses where you'll have to look hard to find....and there's always a ridiculous line of people taking turns to snap photos of that one, lonely, possibly terrified wild flower.


Do you see that???


I traveled one hour for this...

Damn, I've allocated a few hours for this...now what do I do?

There was, however, a hiking path nearby that leads up to a mountain range...but I was originally there to look at flowers, not hike up a mountain. Being under-dressed and having no food or water, what do I do?? The answer is obvious, hike up anyway....

The hike up was nice and fairly easy. I got nice view of the city from up there...



Once I was done looking down on the citizens of Toyohashi, I was preparing to hike back down when I noticed that there was another path that treads along the mountain's spine. Again, being underdressed and having no food or water, what do I do?? Do I go back down?? The answer is obvious, go on anyway....

Oh boy, I regret going down that path that day. You see, that path was longer and more treacherous that I thought it would be...by late noon, I was overwhelmed with thirst, hunger, and exhaustion. Not to mention that the way down was still nowhere to be seen. Here, I had to choose between going on, hoping that the path down would show up along the way; or turn back, going back to where I came from which took 1.5 hours. Now, the usual me would choose to go on, but this time, I didn't have the energy to do it and chose to go back the way I came.

I practically ran down the mountain as I was desperate for water. That bottle of drink I had at the bottom was the best I ever had.

But now I am intrigued to find out how far that trail really goes, where does it ends and what can I find along the way. You can say that this represents my nature; I'm never truly satisfied with anything until I've gone all the way. It doesn’t matter what lies at the end, the reward is getting to know yourself little by little with each step you take.

So, I went again a second time.

I went prepared...jacket, proper shoes, food and water. Now, I'm ready.

I managed to finish the whole course this time, which took me about 5 hours. Along the path I got to see more cities, the Pacific Ocean, and Mount Fuji with its trademark white hat.













But most notable in my hike was the meeting with an old man.
Well, actually, I met a cackle of old folks up in the mountains. Yes, a cackle, as in "a cackle of geese". Call me rude and unappreciative if you want but I find most old folks annoying. Just like on my hike, I met dozens of them and they always say/ask the same thing. And I just find them annoying...just like a cackling goose.
"Aren't you cold? Dressed like that?"
"Where are you from? Malaysia? Wow, I've been there before...20 years ago"
"You speak Japanese? Wow you are AMAZING!"

There was one, however, whom I met along a trail who really interests me. He did not ask me any of those silly questions...didn't even care to ask me which country I was from!!
We spoke a little about a fell tree and effects of the recent typhoon....then we somehow ended up hiking together. He'd shown me various hidden paths that offered beautiful panoramic views, talked about the soil, the plants, people who climb the mountain...

We hiked all the way to the end where we said our farewells...

And we didn't even know each other's name. I treasure meetings with people like this . They colour your life and leave a mark that can't be washed away.

After my hike ended, I still didn't know what is it I was looking for, what did I obtained from it, or most importantly, what made me come back in the first place.

I guess I was looking freedom. By not knowing where it ends, I can take my time and leisure hiking at my own pace...I didn't have to care about anything in the world, just the conscious action of putting my foot in front of each other.

Yeah...for that 5 hours, I was free.

The uncomfortable thought...

I don't know about you but, for me, time slows down during summer...

As the heat and humidity fills the air, everything goes by in slow motion. As if time expands with rising temperatures....

And it is during this time of the year when I lose all my mood to do anything at all,
Time of the year when lecturer starts to get serious with my work...
Time when a mundane lifestyle stick to you like sweat, where days of the week don't make sense anymore..
Especially now when my friends who were doing medic just graduated...requiring me to call them doctor when I'm still in the process of pursuing my degree...
It is time like this when I start thinking up nonsense....

"What if I had known that it would turn out like this, would I still apply for Japan?"

If I had the superhuman ability of being able to the future, and I knew that it would turn out like this, taking 7 long years just to get a degree...would I still apply for Japan??

Although I do have a lot of fun in Japan, and I met a lot of interesting people and I do gained a lot of experience...but....honestly, I don't think I can give a 100% yes to that question.

I mean, 7 years IS a long time if it's just to get a degree....and as much as anyone would say about my fluency on Japanese, that still doesn't cut it as English is still the mainstream language of global communication.

So, what have I been doing all these years?? I mean, I don't feel particularly "extra smart" for being able to study in Japan....in fact, I actually think that I could have performed better elsewhere...

So,

"What if I had known that it would turn out like this, would I still apply for Japan?"

I somehow recalled my conversation with my friend, Kenny's father. He advised me against going to Japan as it takes too long to get a mere degree. I can always take up Japanese lessons and I can always go to Japan for holidays. It was quite a career-prioritized advise and it didn't feel all that appealing to my immature mind at that time...

Same thing goes with my trusted teacher/adviser/mentor in highschool...

And with a lot of other adults...

I was thinking "No way I'm letting this go!! I want to see the famed mini skirts of Japan"

But now, I'm seriously thinking "What if....."

It used to be said that Japan is more technologically advance and that we should learn from them....and that's why Dr. Mahathir started the "Look East Policy".

But what I learned is that, in order for Malaysia to be technological advance, all we have to do is lessen the number of "coffee breaks"!!! Malaysians here fair quite well academically...and why not since our brains are of the same size! It is the attitude, the mentality, and the dedication that sets us so far apart.

But as you all know, Malaysians can be quite dangerous, aggresive and unrelenting when it comes to cutting down teh tarik breaks....

YES! The existence of teh tarik and karipap is keeping us back in the technology world!

So, even I manage to absorb the essence of Japanese greatness, and I don't deny that being in Japan changed me in some way....how am I to change the infamously stubborn Malaysians?

What, then, is my value??

What, then, is the purpose of me being here in Japan?

What.....if I had known that it would turn out like this......

would I still apply for Japan?

Gotong Royong : The Malaysian spirit

Good old Mr. Ambassador, TYT Dato Mohd. Radzi. This is his last week in Japan. He has served for....okay, I don't know how long has he served but I do know he is going back to Malaysia this Saturday. Sorry Mr. Ambs...

A farewell event was planned for him on yesterday, in conjunction with Agong's birthday,
here in my University in Nagaoka. About 150 people are expected to attend this event so, as for the preparation, we(us Nagaoka Students committee) organized a gotong royong.

I was put under nasi minyak department. Gosh...I have never cooked 25 kilos of rice before in my life!! Originally a 10 member strong group, only 4 turned up...but what the hell, we managed anyway. By the time I got back home, it was almost 1 a.m and I was dead tired.
But somehow, strangely, I felt a sense of accomplishment!
I felt happy for being able to lighten someone else's load.
I felt belonged as I connected with others...
My spirit felt SO alive!!

So, this is what you call a gotong royong. While i used to participate back when I was a kid, I have somehow forgotten about the joy of gotong royong as I grew older...as I grew more materialistic...and as I grew more selfish. Somehow, at one point I started asking for reward, refusing to help, and only doing things that involves recognition.

Having spoken that, I gotta admit that I wasn't at all helpful last year...

I participated in the Japanese drum group and I devoted myself entirely for practice. I was constantly using "drum practice" as an excuse to not help in any cook outs.

While it is important to pursue materialism, we must never forget that it is always the connection with people that keeps us going...

keeps our spirit strong....

Connecting dots...

Every hurdle you face in life represents a dot.
They make no sense why you need to
suffer and struggle and sweat...but,
years from now, as you connect the dots,
you'll realize that each dot has a meaning
and they form a beautiful and elegant line...
You cannot connect the dots by looking forward,
you can only do them looking backwards.
So, do your very best and endure, as you will
Surely come to appreciate your effort some day.


You must realize that this is my first, weak attempt at poetry. I have a long way to go before I can write words that 'sing'...

Anyway, this poem is about connecting dots. I heard the general idea from a presenter in Nagaoka, who in turn has heard from Steve Jobs. Now, this have got to be the most meaningful and practical thing I've ever heard in my 20 years of literacy life.

Listening to this reminds me of my high school days where I asked my maths teacher, "Why do all this? What's the point?". She gave me a very lame and nerd-ish reply "To score an A in SPM". I don't mean to be rude to teachers, but what a dumb answer that was....

However, I finally discovered the true purpose of learning mathematics. It's not until 8 years later when it finally made sense as why I need to flirt with numbers....

To build. To design. To create.

Now that I'm in charge of designing a method to reduce a particular set of data, I realize that I need all my knowledge in mathematics, physics and material science knowledge in order to come up with a method that can yield an accurate result.

Ehem...what I'm trying to say here, is that, had I not work hard 8 years ago, I wouldn't be able to do what I do now. This is the same as things we suffer by everyday. They are difficult and we are often tempted to give in to procrastination and neglect....but difficult and trying as they may be, it will no doubt be one of the important dots in our life.

So, all the best to all of us, and may we all smile when we look back on our line of dots...

What it takes to live together...

One of the most famous phrase written in the bible is "Love thy neighbour".

Knowing that, you can say that only god knows how hard is it to love your neighbour....which means that its pretty damn hard.

We all have our fair share of living with ugly neighbours. While many of us have been a bit shy in talking about it, Borat more or less sums it up :

Borat : Do Jesus like me?
Church Pastor : Absolutely, Jesus loves you
Borat : Do Jesus like my sons?
Church Pastor : Jesus loves your sons
Borat : Do Jesus love my retard brother Bilo?
Church Pastor : Jesus loves your brother Bilo
Borat : Do Jesus love my neighbour Nushuktan Tulyiagby?
Church Pastor : Yes, Jesus loves everyone.
Borat : Nobody like my neighbour, Nushuktan Tulyiagby...

All these time watching movies and dramas, I've never quite understood why couples find it so difficult to decide whether or not to live with each other...just like that scene in Yes Man, where Jim Carrey hesitated when he was asked if he wants to live with that girl.

Before furthering my studies to Uni, when I was speaking to one of my seniors about Uni life, he said that it was very, very difficult to live with other people. Quarrels and disagreement happen on daily basis, and that I had better think very carefully if I want to share apartment with someone else. Said that I was going to live with a friend of mine, and I'm sure that things will turn out ok....but he instead said,
"He may be your good friend, but even that, you'll start to quarrel after a few months. Yeah he's still your good friend, but it will not be easy living with him".

Early last year, I was blessed with the opportunity of living with an old friend of mine. I lived across him back in our UTM days where we studied Japanese before going to Japan, and he looks bearable to live with. And so, March last year, I moved in with him...

Things was okay in the beginning. Garbage and dishes are taken care of, kitchen is cleaned on weekly basis, we cycled to school together...

One year have passed.....

This morning, we headed out to school at the same time....something that have not happen for about 10 months. I was thinking, "Wow, it's been a really long time since we cycle to school together!!". BUT....

as I turned to lock the door, I saw he was already on his bicycle!!

By the time I got both my feet on the pedals, he was already far ahead. Now, that is pretty darn strange considering that we share an apartment.

Wow....how did we end up like this...

This have got me thinking, it's not easy living with another person...and I suddenly had new found respect for my mother as she had to live with me AND my brother for 17 years...

It's amazing that my mother have not gone "completely insane". I use the term "completely insane" because.....well, those who have met my mother will know that my mother isn't exactly "normal".

Sigh...guess I'll just have to be patient for another 3 months. After that, I'm moving out....

This time, I think I'll live alone....

The road not taken...

My lecturer bestowed some very good words of wisdom this morning...

"When a difficult and particularly tough road lies before you, it's probably the right one. Take it! Taking the easier road only means that you are making up another lame excuse to your life."

The professor actually meant attitude towards work....not anything else fancy and far away.

I have a bad habit of believing any scientific paper I read, you see. So, I don't check out the validity of theories and ideas stated in it as I assume that when people write those paper, they do it based on a solid theory.

But apparently, research means much more than that. He said to me, "Paper is not god". Wanted me to take the difficult road of checking out every damn thing written in that paper.

And so, I did what he said, gave a presentation to a representative of a company, and got great response. Said that I made a very good effort in my presentation and understood very well the things I've presented...

The difficult road IS the right one to take after all....

So, yeah.....I cannot but agree with this. Frankly speaking, I can't even think of any better wisdom on living your life.

The spider with big dreams...

Today I saw a young spider, still green in colour..so young but born with great dreams...

Where spiders normally would build a web of just the right size, this young one wanted build a huge one...about one meter across. Too large for one so young. As tough as it could be for a spiderling to build one so big, it nonetheless worked hard for it...fighting against the wind and gravity to realize its dream....

All our lives, our mentors, parents and elders have advised us to dream, to aim high....but none ever gave those advise seriously. They forget that we all have different strength and qualities in us which affects our "dreams". Looking at the spider, it dawn upon me that we always need to know the difference between "what we want" and "what we can get".

It is always good to aim high, but we have make sure we don't waste time and effort to chase the impossible.

An excellent idea, if premature, is a lousy one...

Strangers have the best candy...

Recently, a friend of mine, Michael Tiong, have alerted me on a news about a Malaysian student studying in Waseda University being charged for drug smuggling.

Apparently, he went to Netherlands one day, and he was approached by a stranger. The stranger persuaded the poor stupid fellow(shall be called PSF from now on.) to assist him in drug smuggling by mailing hemp(plant to make marijuana) to PSF in Japan.

The court have found PSF guilty of smuggling, but is lucky enough to get away with a suspended sentence. The University however, also found PSF guilty, but guilty of being stupid enough to be persuaded into this, and is expelled from school for being so gawd damn stupid.

Now, unless he is a private student who is poor...we can all say "Well, I understand his situation". But he isn't poor! He went all the way to Netherlands for goodness sake!! Even I haven't been to Netherlands....
And, if he was under scholarship, like me, he would have enough money to undergo education comfortably. Can't buy you a Ferrari, but definitely enough to get you hot meals everyday.

Although he isn't someone I know, and he isn't part of scholarship of my sponsor...I can't help but feel that his actions somehow affected me. Everyone who took the trouble to read the papers(in Japan) will definitely know about this and will think that all Malaysians are alike.

Sigh...

Now, when exams approaches and people are looking for ways to release steam, I won't be surprised if one of them approaches me to buy some marijuana. It's sad to think that impression on Malaysians have gone sour like this.

Imagine the look people will give when they see me on the streets...

Imagine how they will all think of Marijuana when they see me...

Imagine...how much money I would make if I had sold drugs...hmm..

Imagine what I could buy with richness reaped by smuggling drugs!!

IMAGINE IF.....

Oh...ok, now I understand why PSF did it.

Moral of the story:
If you want to smuggle drugs, make sure the one supplying you is a professional. Don't get caught...^^

Man of the Year : Barack Obama

Congratulations to President Obama. Babies are smiling on your success.

Now can someone tell me....why is everyone so happy?

Why yes, a Black dude in the White house...sounds like Yin Yang.
A black dude for President of the United States, that certainly signifies changes that is to come. Everyone in US(well, the ones who voted for him) must be rejoicing.

Fine.

Congratulations.

But I don't understand why is everyone so happy? Even people in Japan!!


Japanese Hawaiian Girls dancing for Obama? WTF??

May be my fault for not being able to see what everyone else is seeing but....why so happy? I mean, it's not like he's elected PM of Malaysia. Or that he will present a big gift to Japan if he won...

All I see is a nation who finally accepted the idea of a black president after years of Hollywood movies projecting a African American for President. And also because of the "superb" job Bush had been doing, people more or less have phobia of war-minded politicians...

So once again...why is Obama's success something to rejoice about?

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not McCain's supporter and I'm not anti-US....but I don't see the point of clapping hands and smiling about it either....

Malacca : BE a Polygamist Year 2008

Recent news that caught my attention...

"Malacca may give RM1,000 to men who take them as second wives"

"Married men in Malacca may receive RM1,000 from the state government if they choose to take poor, single mothers as second wives, reported Harian Metro .
The daily quoted Malacca Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam, who made the proposal, as stressing that the incentive would be given on condition, among others, that the men do not divorce their first wives.
He said the move was not to encourage polygamy but to ease the burden of single mothers who are dependent on welfare aid from various parties."

As a Malaccan, I must say, "WOW!! Really? Isn't this just a new campaign to boost tourism...shit, I have to get married soon before all the young mothers are taken up... "

Damn, I can't believe such proposal ever made it to the discussion table. Malacca must be a place that produces many jokers with funny craps, like myself (^^ v , and dear CM. But I gotta admit, he's a crappier guy than me, as I can NEVER come up with bullshit such as this...

What the hell does he mean by this will not encourage polygamy? OF COURSE this will encourage polygamy. He's giving away Rm1000 for goodness sake!!

Yeah, you can say that this is a good move to help support single mothers...but think again. They are hoping that men who 'need' this Rm1000 to support their second wive when they can't even support themselves!! AND we are talking about marriage for money...not marriage for love. How long can this kind of marriage last before ex-single mothers become single again? And what's stopping people from marrying to get the money, then ditch her to live on her own??

Hmm...makes me wonder...is Malacca's dear CM in love with some young chic who unfortunately got knocked up? In proposing this joke, he not only get to legitimately marry a second wive, he might even be the first "noble" one to actually marry and get the RM1000.

Damn...and I thought I've heard every possible nonsense from Malaysia, my dear hometown's CM came up with a "genius" plan to make me laugh all over again....

Shake your ass for the Earth!!

Up till today, I've gotten sick and tired of the "Environmental friendly" paradigm...

Yes, I know that the Ice Caps is melting and that the Earth's climate is getting weird...Al Gore made that pretty clear in his documentary.


Japan also played a big part in irritating me. With endless campaign of "Use Eco-bags, not plastic bags"....."Use your own chopsticks, not disposables"...."Turn off the lonely light bulb"...all these are no doubt a good move, but too bad, people only embrace these campaigns for so long. Japanese can be quite a hypocrite by doing things so that they "look good" in front of other people....they turn ugly as soon as one turn away.

And compulsory lectures that include "Save the Earth" topics isn't making life any more interesting either....as if scoring an "A" for that particular lecture will help regulate the Earth's climate. That's a worse crap than my blog...

I was thinking...
"To HELL with this save the earth thing...leave me alone and let me live my own selfish life!!!! Fine, I'll recycle and piss in the dark(turn off light bulb in my toilet)....just leave me alone with all these bullshit about 'envirofriendliness'. I have enough friends around, don't need to befriend the Earth. I'm not that lonely."

But then I saw this news report about a night club in Rotterdam, Western Netherlands...

Apparently, a nightclub called Watt, has installed floor panels that generates electricity when people dance on it.

The amount of generated electricity depends on how heavy the person is and the rhythm to which that person is moving. So, yeah..that means the fatter you are, and the more ridiculous your dance moves are, that makes you more earth-friendly. Time to eat more and learn to dance silly!!!


This floor panels can generate enough electricity to power the lights underneath the panels and some more...

To think how much energy could be saved if this technology is implemented in every night clubs...it's a significant amount as night clubs uses 150 times more energy than average household. And if they can install these in train stations in Tokyo where hundreds of thousands of people commute everyday...that's a hell lot more efficient than "Not use plastic bags" campaign.

Never knew that saving the earth could be this much fun. GO DUTCH!!!

Looking forward to see Al Gore dance in night clubs....

"Hey baby, look at how I'm saving the Earth by doing the Chicken Dance..."
"Let me hear you go....Y....M...C....A.....let's all save the earth.....Y...M..C...A..."

^^