Friday, October 28, 2005

Japan's now a lil' bit more randier than ever...

I have always thought of influencing citizens of Japan. You know....be less punctual and talk more crap. And so i have been on TV and such but i still don't see much effect. So....time for more hardcore action!!!
What I did was I attended a blood donation drive. Gave exactly 400mL of Randy to the blood bank of Japan. What else better way to corrupt Japan than polluting their life's essence itself??! Now...imagine all those hospital patients go home healthier and randier...haha.

Anyway..yeah, I attended a blood donation drive. The actual main purpose is to impress the girls here so that they might actually like me. And furthermore the nurses that day were "the young, novice (and attractive) batch" . Not "veterans"...no no.

Haha...okay...enough crap. My actual purpose serve a more noble cause. Anyway, blood donating in M'sia is all papers and needle tight? Well, here's papers, needles and electronic scanners. I never knew doc's job was sooo easy. All doc did was hold my arm, wrap that inflatable thingie around my arms and then press a button. A machine nearby automatically activate the pump and measure my blood pressure, and instantly prints out my polluted blood pressure, my corrupted heart beat rate, how much blood in my stinking body, and how much blood (max) recommended to be drawn. And then doc unwrap the inflatable thing. To me, Doc seems very very technician....a technician that have a stethoscope around his neck but not use it.

And then on to crime scene....

Remember that blood donator had to have their name written on the blood bag? Well, mine was scanned. Just like those scanners in supermarts' cashier. Man i felt like a dead ikan bawal tested for freshness and scanned for value. And guess what?? To ensure that they have exactly 400 mL and not a drop more, they put the bag on a air tight weighing machine.

Sooooo canggih....but,

Just a day after donating blood, I read a news about a 20 year old guy from Osaka who's infected by HIV after attending a blood donation drive. Hey!! I thought bak kata pepatah "buat baik dibalas baik" ??!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

HG!!

HG stands for Hard Gay.
It`s one of Japan`s TV celebrity. For my buddies already in Japan, skip to next paragraph. For those who are not...well, Hard Gay (mentioned in the sports day blog) is a guy who wears a leather suit, chest baring tight jacket, short....very short, tight pants and a hat. He uhh...acts like a gay and his favourite is rocking his hips back and forth, and the all famous "FOOOOUUUUuuu " shout out.

Anyway, he calls himself GAY but i don`t think he understands that term well. Right just now, I saw his show on Tv. He was dancing to the song "STEP you" by ayumi hamasaki. He had a few other dancers with him and they are...female dancers!! clad with very sexy and revealing leather suit. and there`s one scene where he`s on a couch with his arm around a girl and he smiled very cheekily to the camera. Hard gay?? LOL.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Cullinary Carelessness...

It's bound to happen....sooner or later it'll happen someday.

The unavoidable, inevitable....salt and sugar mix-up. You see, I was cooking sambal the other day. I've already salted the chicken i was gonna chuck in, plus ikan bilis and the asam jawa water. So, as you can see, no salt is needed. But SUGAR is needed though.
What i did was reached for the spoon, shoved it in the packet of white stuff, and just poured it in my sambal. I realised my mistake only when..."eh? I thought sugar grain wasn't that fine....looks like salt.", licked the spoon....and DOGGONE IT!!! I put in salt instead of sugar!! Gawd....now I'm gonna suffer kidney failure instead of diabetes.
Anyway, managed to salvage my precious sambal by scooping out the "salted" part. I later put in SUGAR....real, sweet sugar and not salty sugar ....and my sambal turn out great. Let me tell you I enjoyed my sambal vey very much. So much i was on the verge of ecstacy....it was...an exsalted ...sorry, exalted feeling.

Anyway, thinking that experience automatically qualifies me as a cook...i was once again proud and arrogant. And then it happen....
Right just now, I was fixing myself a soup. The carrot, potato and pork soup. Anyway, while skinning the potato.....i accidently skinned my thumb!! Well, not sure if i should say skinned because it looks more like a chunk of flesh went along with it. Sigh....cooking is dangerous. I should stop cooking myself and start looking for a girlfriend already....
Anyway, soup tasted grrrreat.....GASP!!! Did i just say i enjoyed my soup? my a-bit-of-human-flesh-in-it soup?....oh....my...gawd....I just took the first step towards cannibalism!

HELP!!!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Brainless Bimbo....

Take a look at this...


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So? what do ya think? Cute? Perfect? Dream chick? Willing to die for?? Think again...

Yesterday I saw this variety gameshow that featured this cute gal. OH MY GAWD I have never seen anyone soooo "cute" (characterwise) until the verge of being called dumb or just plain brainless, a complete waste of Oxygen.
Anyway, it was a show about "Guess what happen next". It showed this cute girl along with 3 small kids learning a dance. They were practicing for many many hours till the kids turn out dancing like real pro....but this girl....the dance lesson had to be stopped few times. Well, guess what happen next??.....answer is...she had to cry. She had to pout her lips and cry while the kids tried to console her. She was complaining over and over again the dance was tough...
And so the gameshow announcer told her not to give up so easily. He then suggested that she try swimming next...she had to pout her lips and said it's difficult, when asked about her school life, said it's difficult and didn't do that well.....she practically said everything's difficult!!
The announcer then asked that if everything is difficult, then how bout after marriage (giving birth). Well, this time she just kept quiet (while pouting her lips...again) So, the show ended up with everyone making fun of her for about 5 minutes.

I kind of pity her a bit for being making fun of but....why work so hard to act cute?? Can't she have a lil' self respect? Hmm, I guess maybe it's because Jap guys worship cuteness and to be popular......they have to.


PS: Yet, i can't deny the fact that she do indeed look very very cute. hehe....

Friday, October 14, 2005

Weirdest sports day...ever...

I actually have more stories about my summer hols but let's not hear stories months old...i know we all never really fancied history anyway. So, let's get on with life eh??

You know...up till now i thought i've seen all of jap's craziness...i was wrong. Dead wrong.

Last Wednesday was my campus' Sports Day. We all gathered at the field, as usual, just like all schools in the world does. But then there comes the President of Sports commitee...On his head was a wig. A big, bushy dishevelled silver wig. It was quite windy so he was having problem reading out his note as his "hair" was blown all over his face. Funny right? haha...well, that's for all this time. See you in my next blog. Byee....


Okay, i was just kidding. Was just trying to sound lame......

Lame....

Anyway, the most interesting part was when the Pres asked a representative to "angkat sumpah" in front of the Campus..uhh...Headmaster (i know it sound kiddy but i don't know any other word.). Then, out of nowhere, came this guy dressed up like a gay. Black round hat, tight black leather jacket, along with matching tight black leather shorts....and when i say shorts, i mean "very short", a big sunglasses to complete it all.
Walks with a very very exagerated stance.... taking one step and start rocking his hips front and back, take another step, do that "as if f*cking" rocking hips...until he reached in front of the headmaster, spreads his legs a bit, then only start reading the oath....And when he finish, he ended it with " Headmaster, FOOOUUUuuuu......".....and do the walk back.
Let me tell you that was super hilarious, everyone was laughing away. Can't believe the guts on that guy to do that stunt.

Then the day begins....

I joined softball. The games' just like basball, just that the "balls" is "bigger" and "softer". Baseball's balls are just a small hard nut. But then again, hit by the bat, the small hard nut can be "shot" further than the soft and big ones...Anyway, my team lost. They were not so good with sticks and balls after all....ehem

And so one whole day gone by...time for prize presentation.

Guess what? that gay guy's class got 1st prize!! in what i've forgotten but the point is, he squated on the podium..... with his legs spread wide open... while receiving the certificate and throphy from the poor headmaster again. There goes the "FOOOUUUuuuu......" again.
Anyway, another class who got 1st in something else....they sent a guy wearing a blue mask to receive the prize. After receiving the prize, he shouts at the top of his lungs, and takes off his mask.....only to reveal another red mask underneath....then shakes the headmaster's hands vigorously.

My days here just never seems to fail to amaze me...

Friday, October 07, 2005

Korea 5 : Boring Busan

This is my last installment for my Korea trip....finally.

And so i had 8256 kilograms(tonnes) of fun in Jeju isle. Weird upslope flowing water and all.

I headed to Jeju from Seoul by plane but took a boat instead to Busan....a biggg boat. This boat is so big that it have it's own gravitational field and also small moons orbitting around it. It's so big that it could actually fit a million Kancil in it. But as big as it is, it failed miserably in terms of hospitality. Know what they did??
They cramped about 200 wetbacks in a small quater. Well, that ain't so bad actually....but they had to cramp in little children as well. They ran here and there...they jumped here and there...they shout as loud as the lungs allow them...they grabbed all the pillows and build their own castle....worst of all...they cry nonstop because they lost the stupid game they played. I....i really don't know what to describe those brats as. My senior did though, he called them "lalat". You know, those pest that hover all around you and make it a personal quest to irritate you the best they can....luckily, children get sleepy very early at night. Thank god, the almighty didn't fix energizer batteries in kids.

We reached Busan early next morning (Before the trains are even operating). we found out that Busan is...a city. A very very ordinary city. Along with the trademark tall buildings and rude drivers. We escaped the city to yet another very beautiful place. But sadly...unappreciated by us. You see, in Jeju we have seen more greeneries to last us two lifetimes and now in Busan...again?

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Come on, give me a break!!
Okay...skip the nature part. Sorry fellas...

Anyway, being in Korea for a whole week. I have to say that i have not seen ANY pretty or cute or above average....none. Those pretty ones only existed in movies and comercials. My main point of going Korea is tourism and travelling, whichever, true but to really understand their culture we have to know their "people", right? And so we (the guys) were complaining about not being able to "cuci mata"....and while complaining,
This girl with flowing dress, long graceful legs and hair so soft it'll make a pantene model blush, climbed into the bus. Guess where she sat?...Right in front of us. Then the rays from the sun shone on her already shiny, perfect face. I knew at that moment a beautiful angel has descended...into a bus .okay...i'm exagerating again. But damn she's beautiful. If only she can speak something i understand. Well, actually she can.
You see, while i was busy admiring her beauty (another word for staring ....with saliva drooling down my chin) one my senior snapped out of trance and ask her...."Excuse me, can you speak english??". She said..."A little". D-a-m-n....i missed my chance. My senior asked her of places to visit and what are the "must eat" items. After all the pointless question, he finally blurted out the pointed one..."Can we take picture...." and she said "okay".

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You DO know which one i talked about right??....it's the one in the middle. and uhh....can you guess who's the "unlucky" cameraman??

So....we spent the rest of the day lepaking in starbucks....here...there...nothing much. We took a train back to Seoul that night...spend one last day there and flew back to Japan the next day.

In conclusion....

I had a lottttttta fun. It was great cause' i had fun travel mates....a.k.a my seniors and that funny driver and great places i've been. I enjoyed the food a lot cause' they had spicy stuff as well. Met that pretty gal.....no regrets going Korea. Which makes me think...what good, generous, noble deed have i done in my past life for me to deserve that wonderful weekend....


The End.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Korea 4 : Fascinating jeju....

Once again...sorry for the delay. This time, it's because school started and i was a lil' busy. Lame excuse...yes I know. Anyway....

And so after exploring Seoul, we continued on to Jeju Isle. It's the southernmost island in South Korea. Just for info....Jeju is pronounced "Che Ju" and not "Je Ju"....same as the actress in Winter Sonata, the all famous Korean Soap Drama. We spent 2 days there but i'll just sum things up.

About Jeju itself,

It's a place of breathetaking, sculptured from god's hand himself, beautiful nature picturesque. I cannot believe that something so beautiful actually existed.... serene waterfalls whose water poured straight into the sea....spectacular rock formations shaped to perfection by milleniums of years of Earth's boundless patience...beaches with sands so white that I actually felt guilty leaving my footprints on it. My exagerated words may sound as exagerated as it is but believe me...english have not created words to exagerate it any further nor describe the beauty I stole a glance at (or maybe I'm just not meant to be a poet). I'll show some pics but with my infant skills of photograpy i can't guarantee i captured the beauty i spoke....

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.....so? how was that? beautiful eh?
Don't you just wish you were there? Witnessing the serenity with your own eyes....

Okay, quit day dreaming, back to reality...and wipe that drool away from your chin. Anyway, remember I mentioned earlier that we had them Korea Fellas plan the trip to us?? Well, we ended up not following the plan. Just like Langkawi, we were approached by "car rental" agents....they were saying something to us we can't comprehend but i bet my butt they were saying "Kereta...kereta murah...sewa kereta ..."

Since public buses are of none existence on the island, and all taxi drivers carry shiny sharp knives to cut unsuspecting tourist's throats.....we hired one. He took a look at our plans and shook his head almost immediately. Says we waste time crossing here and there and he made a new plan for us...he's been driving there for god knows how long....so we trusted him. In the end, we found out that we hired the right guy ......and very very funny.

He speaks very little english and none Japanese, but he tried his best using the universal body language. He had us looking forward to his explanation of things....not to mention red light entertainment. uhh, red light here means traffic light kind of red light....not us prostituting ourselves. Anyway, whenever we reached a red light, he would turn to us and say...not exactly say but...move? hmm...say something about the local places or perform tricks meant for small kids. The tricks were lame but from the way he does it.....damn, i had to laugh my lungs out . Here's his pic....

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he uhh....stuck a stalk of grass on his upper lips and said "Charlie Chaplin"...

Hmm...what else. Okay, i'll skip stories bout historical sites...
Oh...this a good one.

He took us to a road....a mystery road. He drove to quite a remote area...
went down a slope....
stopped at the bottom of the slope...
turn off the engine...
smiled cheekily at us...
released the brakes...
and the car....moved....
UP the slope!!!

My brains were busted on the spot. This is like...Damn...how can it happen?? He also demonstrated pouring water and the water flowed....UPwards. We thought it was some kind of optical illusion when he brought a...umm...you know that big ruler thing with a water area in the middle? to show if the ground is level or not? well, that thing...and it pointed that the water IS flowing up the slope....What? Is Gravity on vacation too? Hmm....wonder what would Newton say....
C-R-A-Z-Y

Anyway, we then headed away to eat black pig. it's pork from black coloured pigs. Not the usual pink ones we eat everyday. It taste some what different than usual...maybe it's because they told me it's different and then my brains got cheated and argued with my tounge. Looks like this though....

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taste good yo...

It really did taste good. But right after eating, Mr. Car Rental had to take us to some place....a place beyond all imagination...a black pig sty. For some reasons i couldn't fathom, he had to take us there no matter what, just t0o proof that we really did eat black pigs.

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That wasn't so bad but...he started telling stories......

This is the one story that's not funny at all...not one tiny, puny bit.

He told us that we ate them. But do we know what they eat?? He gestured to his ass and said "shit"...points to the pig and said "eat". Not just that, he had to go up there, squat and pretend he's shitting....along with "ugghhhhh" sound we all make when we go shit. Points to that pig eating shit again, then points back to us eating just now.....and know what?? My friends were laughing!! They can actually laugh!!

As for me, I just had to leave that place AT ONCE! Waves after waves of nausea crashed again my fragile stomache walls unmercifully. Frantically rummage through my pockets...dropping keys and stuff....and to my HUUUUGGGE relieve still had one last piece of chewing gum. I tried the "self-hypnotizing" thing...thought of the mountains beyond. It worked...i didn't feel like throwing out my lunch. But just then i heard the pig squeal.....nice....very nice..."thank you" very much Mr. Car Rental.

Sigh...Oh, one last bit. We stayed at a place called Jim Jil Bang. In korea, it wasn't Jack and Jil who went up the hill after all...was Jim. Anyway, it's cheap lodging and most people there are youngsters. The resting place is where guys and girls get together and everyone sleep on the floor in one big hall....just like orgies but with clothes on. Bathrooms are just like Ofuro....a big bathing place where everyone shamelessly bathe in front of each other. Seperate ones for guys and girls of course.....but...
There's 2 floors of resting place. Once i was on my up to another resting place, where I accidently almost entered the girls Ofuro.....almost, when one of my senior step out of it and asked me where I'm trying to go. Phew!....She had just unknowingly saved me from a huge embarassment. But then again, I was at one step before the gates of heaven itself....where angels are. Of course i felt relieved that i didn't make a fool of myself but Damn.....could've been my day. uh....*ehem...girls, forgive me for my libido. All guys thinks exactly the way I did. Just that they don't put it up on blogs. I have skin as thick as Great Wall of China.

Anyway, we next headed for Busan next.....but that's for part 5. Promise I'll write faster....