Reincarnation of the CRABBED!!!!

Well, ok, I lied when I said I was gonna end my blog forever. But then again, those of you who know me well enough (bout 2 hours is considered well enough) , y'all should know better than to trust me right?

Actually, I've started blogging on Friendsters....then one of my fr...ok, Jeremy Cheong told me that he hates Friendsters' blog so I decided to revive my blog here. And why would I do that for a guy? I mean....I'm not gay....or am I?...Haha....hmm....sorry, that was a bad joke. It wasn't even funny.

Anyway, gonna blog here from here now onwards......

The toughest interview in the world.

That’s right guys. I’m having my brains scanned and my speech ability analyzed tomorrow morning to determine if I have what it takes to be a NUT. Btw, NUT stands for Nagaoka University of Technology. Not Nail Under Trimmed or Naked Under Tree…or just a nut.

Anyway, the interview’s gonna be like a biological warfare!!! Apparently, someone out there doesn’t want me to be a nut, so he/she released a toxin agent to contaminate the campus ground so as no one could be interviewed tomorrow. How did he/she did it? and What kind of toxin agent did he/she used??

Well, one student got down with measles. Allow me to repeat…ONE student got sick so they close down the entire campus. I wonder what for…Do they think that measles virus(or bacteria I don’t know which) will die if they don’t make polka dots on someone’s face for 4 days? If that is their mentality, then they are literally nutheads and I’ve clearly chosen the wrong place to be!!

Anyway, wish me luck for tomorrow. Hope that the interviewer is either gay or lonely as I have been working out recently. I’ll be flexing my left breast for "Good Morning" and my right breast for "Hi, my name is Randy and please feel free to touch"…

The fragile little thing we call life

Dudes, chics, my fellow buddies….just a few days ago, my house in Melaka was mugged by some knife wielding nuthead. Fortunately, my dear mum wasn’t hurt in this event.

Story’s like this. My mom headed to the neighbour’s to do stuff all women like to do, gossip and share food they cooked for lunch. So, thinking that she’ll be there for just a while, she left the door ajar. Then came along a knife wielding nuthead with a nutty smile thanking his good luck as he ponders how much can he rob off my house . Not long after he broken in, my mom returned to tend to lunch only to find out that she’s the one facing the chopping block this time.

The nuthead then does what you saw in the movies, he seizes my mom’s throat and threatened her with his knife so that she won’t shout. That nutty guy really thought that that "Don’t shout or else" threat would work? Of course my mom shouted. I mean, anybody would shout when panicked right? Fortunately, one of my neighbours heard my mom and ran in. All my neighbours know that my mom doesn’t shout unless me or my brother’s home.

Seeing that my neighbours have been alerted, he did the smartest thing he ever did in his entire ..um…20 nut years? 30 nuts maybe ….of life. I would have personally thanked him for that act if I were there. He dropped the knife and ran off leaving my mom unhurt. She’s all shaken up but luckily only emotionally hurt. Phew…what a relief. But seriously, if I were there, wouldn’t thank him but will beat the crap out of him. Then call in the cops, have him jailed and pray that he will get raped by them inmates in jail.

Boy, was I shocked when I heard this first-hand from my mom. Out of a sudden, "Hello, Randy? Have you taken your dinner? Anyway, do you know, I almost died today…" It’s a real blessing that my mom was left unhurt. Thank god he implanted a few good brain cells in his nutty brains before he was born. That few brain cells was what that suggested that he drop the knife and not hurt my mom.

24 days later...

You know that movie "28 days later" ?? The one about people turning into zombies? The one with people being eaten alive and all?? well, I like that movie…

Anyway, 24 days here means days since I last blogged…just couldn’t find the time. I was busy with an impossible assignment. WELL, not "Tom Cruise Impossible" but "George Clooney " kind of impossible. When I went to hand up my report, my lecturer was in a very very good mood and he decided to ask me all kinds of questions (regarding microcomputers and algorithm). Just because I did ONE experiment with him he thinks I know EVERYTHING about microcomputers!!! Aw, you should have seen me there sweating my ass off for one hour trying to answer his question. Imagine that, one hour date with your lecturer talking bout’ stuff that he got masters degree for. Sigh….guess all I can say was thanks to my years of crapping, I managed to pull through.

And directly after my ordeal (yes, I think the word ordeal would suit my experience pretty well) with my lecturer, it’s exams!!! Well, wasn’t so bad i guess….I think i did pretty well cept’ my last paper. Did not see it coming. The numbers and words just flew out of the paper and SPLAT!! Right in the face….

And guess what happened after that?

A. Went out for a movie and found out why Capt. Jack Sparrow have the surname Sparrow…I mean, that’s a bird right? why would anyone have take a bird for a name? Yeah , I know he’s a pirate but only allow him a parrot on the shoulder right? Or maybe because he hated birds, but since pirate captains are suppose to carry birds, he stuck it to his name.

B. Went out for billiard and do what guys love doing best, hitting them balls with a stiff stick. Ever wondered why we like hitting balls so much? Think of it, except rugby and ice hockey, every major sport involves hitting a small round ball that’ shaped like….well, a round ball.

C. Went to bed after one week long of staying up but only slept for an hour cause I dreamt of numbers. Guys have been known to dream of anything….and I mean "anything" but never …..NEVER anything about studies. Well, if our lecturer was young and attractive, we might dream a little about "studies" but not about numbers with the "lecturer" absent right?

Golden Week 2007 : Chinese Gathering

Golden week have always been a golden opportunity for us to meet up with each other. Dudes and chics from far away, like William and Fong Zyin (I thought she looked great!!) who had to cheat their way through the train system just to go to Tokyo. They had to pretend to sleep when the conductor was making his rounds. Haha…great story though.

Anyway, this gathering was great.
You see, we have always chosen Yoyogi Park as a gathering place. In my two years in Japan, we must have gathered there for like….4 times. And we have to sit under the same tree….4 times in a row. Even the tree started to hate us! "Aww….shit, it’s the same people again!! I better drop some leaves in their drinks to shoo them off. Wait. What if I drop a branch on that tall fella over there…."

You see, the 1st and 2nd time I had to be there was okay, but the 3rd time I had to go there, I started thinking of excuses so that I don’t have to attend….but I attended anyway (One of my seniors is really pretty, won’t mention who but she’s worth sitting under the same tree and getting hit by a branch).

BUT this time….thanks to Richard, we had our gathering at a spacious hall, which was a very very refreshing change. We have chairs instead of plastic mats!!! Well, we also had OHP, so the introduction of juniors was done nicely too….no more awkwardness of having to stand in front of a group of strangers who won’t pay attention. Among them was a tall guy, Calvin’s the name….and when I say tall, I mean taller than me…by 13cm! Wow, never had to look up to anyone before, but this is how it must have felt when other people had to talk to me. No offense here….

We also had a bunch of silly games….no, I’m not trying to be cute, they’re really silly. Like "rock-scissors-paper" stuff….that was, just, pure lame. But everyone had fun there so I guess it wasn’t too bad. Fortunately we had Richard who made it up with his ‘TALENTED’ singing. Is a disaster trying to sing a song in another language . It’s a wonder how on earth can anyone sing so bad that the audience won’t mind and ACTUALLY…. actually thought it was cute!! Hmm….Remember William Hung who sang "She Bangs" in American Idol? He was cute.

Though…it was kinda disappointing not getting to talk to seniors. Just not enough time. Wanted to spend more time talking to Seng Chye and Andrew but I only had a minute to spare for each. As for the juniors, well, they stayed at the hostels there so we had the whole night with them. OH, oh… before I forget, my GAWD the juniors are so childish!!! or maybe because I’m too old for those kind of behaviour anymore…..but gawd damn!! Things that they talk, having interest in nothing but Japanese sex, gossiping like there’s no tomorrow. Sigh…it was great fun to be with them nonetheless. Makes me wonder…was I like this when I first came to Japan?

I have one last comment before I end this.Why is that I must speak Chinese as if my life depends on it? I mean no offense nor insult here, but you see, I grew up speaking English, and I am very…VERY comfortable speaking English when I’m conversing with people. But when I meet up with the Chinese community, I am instantly labeled banana….guys who’s born Chinese but can’t speak fluently and must feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to. Well, it’s not like I chose to be one right? And It’s NOT like I’m proud that I can speak English better.
Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t mind speaking Chinese…and I actually enjoy speaking in Chinese. But the thing that really irks me off is when someone tells me that I should speak Chinese just because I’m a Chinese. If someone comes over and tell me, "I’m more comfortable speaking Chinese, can you speak to me in Chinese?", I’d give him a very big smile and make him my friend forever. But sadly, most come over and say "You’re a Chinese, can you speak to me in Chinese?". And worse, they tend to criticize instead of "Let me help you improve".

Hmm….am I wrong to feel irritated by this? I have kept this in me for a very long time….and this is just not the stuff to say out loud in public. Since only close friends read my blog, I trust you guys enough to read this and not discriminate me, and not to go round telling everyone….*hint *hint.

Anyway….next blog, I’ll be posting pics and hopefully, video of Richard ’singing’!!!

Cheers.

Being Fat sucks...

On the contrary of the title…I’m not exactly…you know, fat. It’s just that I feel fat. I mean I’ve never really thought of myself being fat but after a game of basketball last night, my thoughts changed. Everything changed…

I can’t run, I can’t jump, I can’t shoot properly….GAWD it’s awful. And my waist still hurts from playing too much basketball (1 hour). Now I feel my cheeks are too puffy, my abs is bulging out too much, I wobble as I walk, and I keep looking at my pants… wondering when I’ll be able to wear them again. My good friend from high school (Ern Suey) have always told me that I was fat…didn’t really believed her that time but damn…reality can really hit you like a basketball thrown at your guts!! Well…about that, I don’t think that’s a very good expression. My friend threw a b.ball at my guts and it didn’t really hurt cos`, you know…..fats can act as a shock absorber.

ANYWAY, not that I’m just complaining…I’m actually working on getting rid of it. I ‘m trying to eat less, trying to get more exercise and I’m trying not to indulge in potato chips. Man….trying can be really hard. Haven’t really achieved anything yet but at least I can be proud that I’m trying right?? Hmm…I wonder…I feel fat because I can’t play basketball as much as I
used to or is it because of the jap culture? Japanese guys here fret and fuss about a lot after only putting on an extra kilo or two. Last week when we had a physical test, they all (guys and girls alike) gathered round and compared their body weight…commenting on how much they put on since last year. And uhh….I was one of them…heh heh.

Sigh….I hope I lost a few milligrams of fats typing all this…..

Job Fair 2007

5Wow…..so much have happened these few days I have trouble remembering them all. But being an avid PC user since I 13, I have adopted the PC way of remembering things….I partitioned part of my brains to Brain:\Cerebrum\GoldenWeek\JobFair2007 and Brain:\Cerebellum\GoldenWeek\Gathering.

guess I’ll access files from Job Fair first…

Early this year, I became one of the committee member for MSAJ, namely Malaysian Students Association Japan. This spring…well, last week actually, we successfully organized a Job Fair. A kind of fair where companies set up booths for undergrads to check out for jobs….AND companionship as well. I personally witnessed "couple in making" there.

Anyway, being one of the committee member, I was put charged in power supply to booths and distribution of lunch. But really, I did much much more than that. I was the unofficial ‘bouncer’ of the day, garbage disposal and also pest control. Hmm…What does it mean by pest control? It’s not like there’s bunch of roaches came looking for job in Malaysia right? (though I secretly guessed that they would eat better there). I will explain soon enough…

Okay, let’s do things chronologically shall we?

May 3rd,
I knew that the seminar was going to be a tough challenge when several committee members came late to our meeting. (Sigh…old habits die hard) But never mind that, we manage to brief and sort things out by midnight anyway. We all also mentally prepare ourselves for the big day next day. It’s gonna be a loooong day.

May 4th, opening time,
About the ‘mentally prepare ourselves’ part, that was a figure of speech cause’ we had to call a few who’s apparently late and ask them "What time will you be coming". Anyway, event hall opened and we all rushed in to set things, namely reception and power supply to booths. I personally take pride in the fact that we managed to get the booths set up without any major hiccups.

However….

I was doing my rounds asking company representatives if they are ready to receive the students. Most were already seated and their laptop fans were humming their blades in anticipation. Most gave me steady nods coupled with confident smiles… good for them, now, I reached Proton’s booth, only to find out that was in the same shape as I left them with! GAWD, I can almost here the walls wail with agonizing loneliness as they have not set anything up yet!!!

Me: Erm…sudah siap dengan….nampaknya belum siap lagi kan?
Proton: *smiling happily* Rep kita tak datang lagi…
Me: 5 mimit lagi student masuk….
Proton: Boleh tunggu tak?
Me: Excuse me?!!
Proton: Rep kita tak sampai lagi, boleh tunggu sampai rep datang?
Me: 5….4minit lagi student masuk. Good luck.

Few minutes later….

"Excuse me, Kamu ada nombor telefon rep kita tak? …"

All I can say about them is "Wow….." If anyone went to see Mona Lisa’s painting after that, he/she would know what Mona Lisa was smiling about!!!

May4th, noon time…
Lunch time….Oh lord, What a sight to see. You see, students who attended the fair all wore blazers with tie and shiny leather shoes. Seems that in order to eat…they had to take off their shoes, sit in groups ON THE FLOOR outside the hall, not forgetting to sembang and lepak there after eating. Being Malaysian to the last, they had to leave their rubbish on the floor. Although not all, those numbers who left them were significant enough.

I was unfortunate enough to meet the hall manager (the president was conveniently away at the moment). He was smiling that smile…ya know, that smile when you see something utterly shocking and unbelievable…and asked, "So, these guys are looking for job today? Hahaha….can you please make sure they clear up? Please clear up.." Sigh, he must have sensed that there was nothing could be done about it.

By the way, did I mention something about "pest control"? This was it.

May 4th, closing time…
After witnessing Proton that morning, I decided to inform them of closure one hour before closing time. One of the committee members told me it’s too early to start telling them to pack but….after what I saw in the morning, I mean, who could trust them to pack on time, right?

This time with Perodua, 5.00 pm

Me: Sila pastikan semua clear sebelum pukul 5.30. Harap Maklum.

Perodua:La...tunggu kejap. Tunggu satu lagi group habis baru kami pack…

Me: Tak boleh, kita mesti clear semua sebelum masa tu…harap maklum.

At 5.25 pm…they have packed, an amazing feat worth getting award for, but were sitting around chatting instead.

Me: Maaf ganggu, tapi kami dah nak tutup dewan ni…
Perodua: la dik…kejap lagi la. Angkat beg ni, terus boleh keluar. Kejap je…
Me: *losing patience* Maaf, tak boleh tunggu lagi. Sila keluar dari dewan sekarang.

Well, informing them one hour before closure, turn out I made the right decision after all….we manage to clear by 5.30. PHEW!!!

But all in all…..I have to say congrats to the team who made it happen. Was a big event and we manage to pull through. GOOD JOB GUYS!!!!

Hazardous Life

Anyway, yeah….I met another accident. And yes it involves my pair of skates. Almost all bad stuff that happens to me involves my skate. First was burning a hole in my wallet (cost me 20k to buy that piece of crap with wheels), the second was scraping my chin against the pole….well, this time is fall on pebbles while having a stupid smile stuck on my face.

"Oh, that’s not so bad…I’ve fell on pebbles before as a kid and I didn’t even cry!!"….yeah, you might think that way but you weren’t moving 25 km/h that time did ya? Hah…I thought not. The victim this time is my right elbow…have a nasty 4×9 cm gash that constantly oozes some kind of fluid. Think I’ll call them Randy juice for the sake of being funny…..lame? so lousy a joke that you can’t laugh? Guess what? I ain’t laughing either…(it hurts!!)

Sigh…guess I’ll let nature punish me a little while longer before deciding to heal me.

In other news….an association in which I’m a committee member (MSAJ-Malaysian Student’s Association Japan) is organizing a Job fair tomorrow. Just in case you’re wondering, I’m not the one calling the shots….another unlucky fella is. Oh, how much do I not envy him….he’s like
a nervous wreck!! Using letters THIS SIZE and colour when messaging his subordinates…Well, good luck to him and hope everything goes well tomorrow. For those (MSAJ members) reading this, please don’t tell him I said that….

Oh look!! A Pole!!!

Anyway, latest stuff about me is that I hit a pole. You see, I had too much money and since I don’t invest them in the local market (namely drugs and prostitution), I instead waste them on a pair of roller blades….you know, that cute looking shoes with wheels on it.

So, I was going down a slope….a narrow slope actually, and as you know, my good friend gravity thought that it was fun to give me a little shove. The moment I realize that I was going too fast on a narrow slope with no room to maneuver….I was on a collision course with an oncoming car. Not wanting to hit a car (not fat enough for that feat yet)….I chose a pole instead. Long story short, I ended up being ‘kissed’ roughly by the pole.

I guess I was lucky to have avoided a nasty accident and should be thankful…..but my chin seemed to think that my legs should have suffered instead. In case i break a leg, well…I have a spare one while I only have one chin.

Cry Baby

After what I’d witness in Japan this afternoon, I finally started to believe that mankind have caused quite serious damage to mother earth. Signs that Mother Nature is suffering is starting to show in Japan.

You all seen the show "The day after tomorrow" and you all heard Al Gore going nuts over greens.

You see…this afternoon….it rained.

IT RAINED AGAIN!! ehem, may not be brick sized ice but they’re water right??

I’m telling you, Mama Nature is suffering from all those CFC, CO2 or whatever gas we are releasing these days…and she couldn’t take it anymore. So, this afternoon she turned to Japan and cried the whole day. You see, I was heading out for another round of skating ( I’m a sadomasochist and I take pleasure from falling off my skate) when Mother Nature said to me, "Randy, wait…don’t go out skating today, please…. sit down and listen to me whine. Your ‘kind’ is sooo cruel to me. You know, back in those days when I was dating George…."

AARggghhh…someone forgot to tell her that I’m not the sentimental type. Sigh, tried consoling her by telling her that people are actually starting to recycle, cars use hybrid engine… even tried promising her that we will stop molesting her by climbing Mt. Everest!! But alas nothing work. She kept on crying…blowing her nose once in a while…gross, her nose spits out lightning….

So here I am, ignoring her woes and typing factual nonsense instead. Amazing the things you can come up with when faced with boredom. Someone said something about Idle mind being the devil’s playground? Well, the Devil must be one hell of a clown.

Back to being a Malaysian..

It’s been pouring water from sky for the past week. Once, Mother nature was kind and blessed us with ice instead of plain water. Yeah, she forgot that gravity existed and didn’t know that hale falling from sky can be quite painful.

Ok, enough bout that….

And so, it’s been raining for the past week, and for the past week I had spent my time looking out the window hoping that the rain would stop so that i can go get my haircut. and just when I thought my poor neck couldn’t handle another "look up at the sky" the rain cloud moved on…planning to thwart a picnic plan an unlucky guy just planned.

For those who saw me back in Malaysia…well, only a few did actually…mostly will say that I’ve adopted the Japanese look. You know, the look from jap manga and animes….yeah, I look like that. Long brownish hair swaying ever so gently with the wind. Plus a thick frame glasses if I may add. Don’t accuse me of exaggerating but my own dad couldn’t recognize me at a glance. He had to look hard and wait for me to call out before embracing me when I touched down at KLIA. "Randy, wah…you changed already hah…but I still can recognize you"…..yeah right!

and when I was back home, my neighbours lined up and took turns to comment on how much I look like a jap. You know, all those aunty…if one of them commented on something, they ALL have to comment on the same thing or else be left outdated. Best yet! I was out at Harajuku (hippest place in Tokyo) and was asking a girl donning cosplay for a photo, I… uhh…asked in English…when she suddenly giggled while mumbling "OMG I thought that was a japanese!!"

Sigh….those were the fun days…

Snip snip snip ….I just gave all that up a few hours ago. And I had to pay to do it!! They never told me that I had to pay to look like a Malaysian when I was born. While I had the jap hairstyle this noon, I now adopt the Beckham hairstyle…you know…the one he had when he was still famous. The hair he had when he "missed the penalty". Yep, that’s the one…..but I’m not
into soccer so that won’t effect me in any way…

The last of the blogs.....

WOW.....been a looong time since I last blogged. Been so long that I had to retype my id 5 times cause I messed up my idName. Haven't been blogging cause....hmm, I think I lost my passion for life. Not boredom....not laziness....not dullness (A LOT had happenned), just the lack of passion.

Anyway, that's last year. Now is 2007!!! Another perfect year for procrastinating. Once this guy asked me what my new year resolution was, I said, "That's easy....opposite of everything I said last year. What I said I would do, I won't.....What I said I won't do, I will" . But then again....don't let me discourage you from making a long list of "I will....by the end of this year"!!!!

And uhh......I guess I'm gonna announce the end of my blog. Yup, this is the end. Just.....ya know, don't have the urge to type out crap anymore. My keyboard suffered enough .Very very sorry guys....but if you do feel like keeping in touch, you can always drop me something in Yahoo/Msn messenger or e-mails....

Thank you sooo much for reading all these times...

Internet E-mail : randygui@hotmail.com randy_gui@yahoo.com
H/p e-mail : randy-gui@ezweb.ne.jp

No Fwds please....I hate those...


Cheers!!!

Randy

Upcoming Fest in Campus, not sure what festival, but ....hey it's a fest!

Hmm....I can't really say it's a relief that I share the same shame of not being able to converse properly, so I'll settle for I feel sorry for the both of you as well.
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As usual, I'll start by saying stuff that have got nothing to do with the title.

Just last week, my campus held a Sports Day. Remember my blog about it last year? In case you don't, well, we had a guy who dress up as HG (Hard Gay) with real tight leather shorts and matching leather jacket. I really enjoyed that gig.....but sadly, there are guys and especially girls students who do not approve of such tight leather shorts and leather jacket. Apparently, they hated that image so much that this year, we have a naked skinny guy wrapped only with loincloth(sumo style). Although his rib bones were protruding and his butt was shamelessly expose to everything living, he was loved by all students. He umm......was getting a tough time trying to get the President of campus to smile, so he said ...no, shouted that he was very excited for Sports Day and that he is having a super erection!! At last, the president smiled....good job dude!!

And now for the upcoming fest in my campus.

At the fest, all classes and clubs will set up their own stalls selling various stuff from food to cute keychains. And as for advertisement, we are given signboards on which we can draw any stuff we want.... anything. Well, as for "International Club" we are selling our country's local food, so our board was a picture of two chef sitting in a wok. Boring? Yes, I think its boring too and same goes for the rest.
However, my classmates managed to "think out of the box" and apparently "think out of the clothes". You see, they drew a naked guy and a naked girl whose hands are touching each other's crotch!!!! They plan to cut holes at the face so that you can..you know, put your face through and have your picture taken.
Here it is...



Cool huh? I just can't wait to see all my lects faces when they see this!!

Embarassment on an international level....

OH.....conditioner. Now that just answered all my bullshit doubts I made up in my free time. Thanks Jun....you saved me from wasting many more hours. Anyway, I changed my phone for a total 10187 yen.....which is RM 314 and 54 sen. Hmm....was that the price of a Nokia 2100? Haha....well, if you folks in Malaysia starting to feel jealous, check out that website once more so that you go all out when it comes to cursing me.

Btw, my hair cut + wash cost me 2850 yen.
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Now that I've solved my riddled concerning that hair-do trip, I finally have free time to blog again. Thanks again Jun.

Until last week, I was confident about my level of comunication for Chinese. Was confident that I could participate in simple conversation that doesn't involve politics or Chinese pop-stars without any hic-cups or whatsoever. In fact I'm actually proud of being able to speak the language despite not attending any Chinese classes. But.....man, did I forget that I have been in Japan for a year and half already.

You see, last week.....my college held a programming contest. We have had many participants including University students from Vietnam, Mongolia ......and China, to be exact, Dalian. And the juicy part was that....they had a girl in the group. So, being the one who's able to at least count to ten with Chinese(The rest was Jap fellas), I approached the group. Well, my junior was with me also at that time, I was planning to lure him to engage with the guys so that i could have the girl all for myself, so it was no problem.
Anyway, right after we exchanged the first 'Ni Hao'.....reality hit me. It hit me sooo hard that I almost buckled from the impact and throw up yesterday's breakfast. I ......I realised that I can't speak Chinese anymore.....I have been in Japan for too long.

To be precise, it all happened in a slow motion. Yeah! Just like The Matrix.... but without bullets and no one's flying. No, really! It was like, they asked me a question.....and then time just froze. Everything around me just stopped moving and I realised I was struggling in limbo to understand what that guy just said....and had to take more time to think of a reply. "Aww shit! I knew that word.....what was it now? Aww damn!" .... and without warning, time rushed back and everything started moving again. And I haven't thought of anything for a reply. Man.....the whole thing was a damn shame. Not to mention the awkwardness both party felt from my terrible linguistic skill.

Okay...okay.....that was a bit crappy. I mean what the hell was that?!! There was no Matrix senario!!! Anyway, here's a more realistic version......my surroundings didn't freeze-time, it was only me who stopped moving. They said something and I froze like a mannequin. Well, I had to stop to think of a reply, right?!! Sigh....my junior who was suppose to be my decoy turn out to be doing surprisingly well as he is very fluent with Cantonese, and one of em' spoke it. See? I couldn't even share my embarassment with him.

Well, apparently that's NOT the only shit that I screwed up.....you see, despite of my shortcomings, I still dared to approach the girl. Guess what? I offered to bring her a cup of APPLE juice and gave her GRAPE juice instead. SIGHHHHhhhhhhhh........never in my life had I wanted to hide in a hole .... or cover my tomato-red blushing face with a paper bag. So, looking at her confused face drinking grape instead of apple, I politely made a lame ass excuse and pulled away. Probably pulled away too late for the damage have been done.

Oh my, I really should do something about not embarassing myself. So.....that was my weekend. How was yours?

Living in a New World

Say uhh.....J.C, can i crash again at your place? I know I've been going to your place awfully often but it's NOT that I "like" you.....it's that Nasi Lemak that that i like. And it's quickly overpowering all of my excuses for not going to your place. MayC, sorry...not going to your place. No hard feelings, eh? It's just that Nasi Lemak have that much more charm compared to bubur cha cha.

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You know, I've just realised recently how much I loved old movies and old songs.....no, not the Beetles, not that old! I meant songs from Blink 182 and movies like Die Hard 1, 2, 3. As a guy who's living in a world of high tech gizmos and girls with little if no regard for their own asses (them MSFCs ), I shouldn't be doing all that! I should be embracing the future! I should be living in the new world!!

So, I thought.....what better way to participate in the New World than to actually create something new?? In so doing, I participated in a Patent Contest....the one where you create or design something, then register it to get it patented or copyrighted. And that's what I've been up to the past 2 weeks.
My idea was a kind of cup that won't spill even if the surroundings shake. I uhh....actually got the idea after my cup of coffee stain my good pair of pants during a terrible turbulence on my flight from Malaysia to Japan.....lousy normal cups. I can't tell you anymore about my cup cause' you'll have to pay if you want to know about it. Yup, that's right, you gotta PAY to use my cup...huargh hahaha.....unless if the China market copycat my cup like they copycat evrything else..well, you get the general idea.

So....what else is new??

A new haircut!! Yea baby....I got myself a new hairdo. Quite a weird experience though. You see, I went straight after my class so i requested a shampoo wash. It's the first time in my life getting shampooed by hands other than mine so I may not know how it should really work....maybe its normal but, it is normal for them to cover your face with a paper towel while they wash your hair? I mean, am I THAT hideous looking till they have to cover my face while they shampoo or else they'll vomit and die after staring at me for too long? And do they also have to shampoo my head twice? TWICE! In my whole life I've never had lice on my head nor dandruff (thanks to my pet monkey who eats it for breakfast...). So why do they need to shampoo me twice?!!
Anyway, the haircut was a pretty decent job so I guess its ok......but I could have sworn they debated over whether they should cover my face with an ultraman mask or risk breaking the mirror. And they have got the guts to ask me if the water is too hot...or if my neck feels stiff from the wash...or if my ear hurts or if my back hurts...I don't look that old and handicapped, do I?

By the way, what i really meant was that they did a really good job at that salon. Just in case you don't know what I meant there.

And oh, before you close this page, please check out this handphone site.

I um...got myself a new handphone! An astonishing 16 mm with a 1280x960 pixel cam. On that page click on the "Photo Catalog to see more. Envy me all you want but Please...please don't get the same model. Allow me to be the only one to show off in our next gathering.

Peace out.

Back to school...

Umm......no, my scholarship didn't kena potong. I settled it with the previous Pengarah already. Thanks for your concern anyway. Hmm....considering that you are actually concern about my well being, I should've faked it!! Could've leeched some money off your sympathy....damn....

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Sigh...Summer hols is over.

I can't believe it....I mean, my brains could accept that fact but my stomach just can't swallow the bitter truth. Ya know, I actually called out to my mom the morning I woke up in Japan and when I realised she's not around....I...I actually cried. I cried with real tears flowing down my stubby cheeks. I was never the crying type or homesick or Mommy's boy.......but I cried. It's just so depressing and sad ..... when I realised that mommy wasn't around to buy me nasi lemak for breakfast. Can you imagine that?? NO NASI LEMAK!! How the hell am I suppose to survive the day without eating nasi lemak for breakfast?? And that's not it....NO ROTI CANAI too!!

Sigh....okay, enough about that....just typing bout' it made me feel worse. Let's talk about something else...

And so I'm back in Japan....the land where the women tend to think that if they don't expose their legs to sunshine, they will develop cancer and die a horrific death(I meant MSFC members ...mini skirts fan club). I uhh.....caught myself ogling at legs once more. I dropped that habit about a year ago...but then...I've been back to Malaysia for about a month right?? hehe...sorry. Well, part of the reason I ogle is because I don't want them MSFCs to feel bad being ignored. They sacrifice money and body heat(it's cold here) so much that i actually feel bad for them if no one stared, so, I took on the honorable job of admiring them.

Okay....now that I've had your attention, guys for liking girl legs, girls for hating me for liking girls legs, I'll start with my main stuff.

School started on Monday. As a norm, we had an assembly to listen to "Welcome back to school" speeches by Mr. Principal, Mr. Principal's Ass, a few teachers and the President of the Student's council. I thought the whole welcome thingie was gonna bore my brains out......until Darth Vader showed up. No kidding, it really was Darth Vader himself in that black suit with that black helmet and that red light saber!!! Ya know, Vader and I are pretty much similar in mentallity wise....he complained bored and slashed the president off the staged!! Gawd, I was so glad he decided to end that boring shit they call speech. But as grateful as I was for him taking over, I soon started cursing him as well....you see, his sense of humour was as bad as his body odour(I don't think he can take a shower in that crash helmet of his) . He was so bad at it, he could kill Luke Skywalker by telling him jokes....no need for fanciful light saber show. But I guess having a ill-humoured Darth Vader is so much better than nothing.

And it's back to classroom.....after a short session of homeroom(just in case, it means a session when a teacher telling us non-studies stuff) , I gave out "souvenirs" from Malaysia. Advice for students studying abroad, do not...I repeat DO NOT give them muruku as a souvenir. I got a whole classful of stares and curses after passing out them murukus......man, I have never been so successful at getting hated before!!! Hahaha....
Well, I exagerated a lil' there. I didn't exactly get stares and curses....I got comments, Japanese style...
"Wow, I've never eaten this before! Taste.....different. Oh, no thank you I don't want anymore"
"This taste....I don't know how to describe it. What's it called? Really? WOWwww.....mu-ru-ku....chew chew chew chew chew chew chewX16"
"Hmm, know what? I might find this delicious, AND I actually might like it .... if I get used to the taste."

and some other ... can't remember.

So, as for conclusion, don't give out murukus....they are strictly a no-no. Worse still are durian sweets. Poor J.C got accused of trying to food-poison his entire class with "serious case expired sweets" so that his class can get a holiday. Hahaha....I won't be surprise if anyone try to run him down!!! Wait a minute....speaking of muruku, I should've given some to Darth! HAH!! Let's see him blurt out unfunny jokes after my malicious muruku!

The all so awesome Japanese...

Wow....it's really been three months since i last blogged?? I have been lazy for three months?? Only for three months?? Haha....just kidding. Anyway, gotta say i'm surprised that people still waste their internet time on my site (which hybernates during summer). Thanks fellas.....

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As I have said, I have been here and there breathing in air and mee goreng along with karipap and kuih koci. no, that wasn't crap....i mean what i said. You see, my eating speed have gone beyond "2 or 3 chews" ......beyond "don't bother chewing" and DEFINITELY beyond "Swallow first, ask question later". And since my vocabulary is pretty limited, inhaling seems to be the most appropriate word.

Anyway, what i was trying to say was...umm.......oh yeah, I was at a malay food stall the other day together with my old folks. As I was happily "inhaling" mee goreng, we met one of my dad's friend (a jap guy living in Malaysia) who was giving a tour guide to a bunch of Jap people. Sigh....why? why do they interrupt my feeding time with a barrage of bows??
Okay, imagine this.... A bunch of guys standing up and bowing to each other profusely while exchanging pleasantries in Japanese, in a malay GERAI!!! Bet none of you have ever seen the Mak Cik's facial reaction to this scenario. The mee goreng lady actually had to throw away her "hangus" mee and remake another plate of mee goreng (Yeah, she better quit staring and pay attention to her frying this time!)

Well, if that ain't hilarious enough, imagine what were their intentions of going there....
I'll give you a minute or so....
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.
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.........ready? Got your imagination fired up??

Okay, here's what really happen. They went round the gerai looking at all the kuih, randomly pointing at them, and were commenting that they look cute (don't feel bad for the other kuih, they all got equal share of "Oh, look at this. this is soooo CUTE! Oh wait, that is even cuter!!"). After all that, they stood in line to take picture with Mak Cik. I must say, that Mak Cik was very talented with smiling the same smile for three different group of people.
After Mak Cik's brief moment of fame.....well, they bow some more (what else can you expect? They are Japanese) and left with smiles still glued to their faces. Just like that...."Say cheese, *snap* *flash*... keep that cheese, now say goodbye".

Amazingly NO ONE noticed that they didn't buy any food there until I commented.....my mum then added that Japanese tourists are so cute. That's right, CUTE!


PS: Should've brought along my vid cam....would've qualify for AXN's "World Most Amazing Videos"

Thousand of apologies......

So sorry for not blogging in for such a long time. I uhh....ummm.....you see, my mum she ...umm.......okay, okay,i'll cut the crap with lame excuses. I've been lazy and was also running out of ideas what to write in here so......so that's why you haven't seen any updates here till now.

Just so you know, there won't be another long hiatus cause', I've decided right just now at 4.30 pm to not procrastinate and not be lazy anymore......my credibility lies in the fact that I did not wait till new year to make new resolutions. So, um....will try to be less lazy. AND also will try to get rid of the tub of lard I'm still accumulating around my abs....last time i checked, it wobbles for as long as 6.57 seconds after poking it with a stick. Yup, just like a large plate of jelly......wobble wobble.....wobbles when i walk, wobbles when i run, wobbles more when i jump....

Well, what could i have done....not eat so much?? Malaysia's food is just too nice!! Been eating with vengeance ever since i touched down. I've been so successful in stuffing food into me that i gained 8 kilos in 6 days. Yup, just like every young girl's nightmare, it weighs the same on three different scales (my house, my friend's house and Renaissance Melaka's gym). How did I do it? Well, imagine this.....I made sure I wake up early everyday (though i slept late the night before) so that I wouldn't ....you know....wouldn't miss breakfast. I was thinking, that's one less nasi lemak i could have enjoyed before going back to Sushi-land. And that's something i can never forgive myself for.

So....mostly that's it. That's my summer holidays this time. Eating a lot and getting fat and getting people to notice I'm fat and also getting people to be creative and come up with some nice fat jokes. Yup, just like that.....no fancy trip like my trip to Korea last time. Was planning to go to Taiwan but had to plan my homecoming as my old man wasn't at the best of health. If pink means healthy, then my dad must be maroon red. Sigh, my dad is an old man now......having fun reminding him though, haha.....evil me.

However, can't really say i should have been to Taiwan......oh, what wonders a plate of mee goreng mamak could do to me. It could bring me back from the dead I tell you.

So....I guess this is it for this time. Wanted to blog longer but my dad just brought back cheese cake and I gotta eat it now. Will blog again soon......ciaoz for now.

Romeo's legacy....

First and foremost...thank you for your advices and tips and hints and opinions and everything else that falls into that category.

I know that i have been silent for quite a while now, so I'll just skip a long boring intro and get straight to the point. Mission failed, I'm calling it off. I'm just not lucky enough for it to happen.

Now, what really happen?

Remember the date I had? After that, I kinda try to keep the fire going on by sending e-mails but everytime I mail her, she busy doing something....experiment reports, club activities, so on and so for. And that comedy have been happening for the past two weeks. Me trying to keep contact while she's busy doing something everytime. Well, I can suppose give her credits for being polite since it's always "Oh sorry, now I'm busy with etc. etc...."

And as time goes by, fire is reduced to just glowing ember.....

Glowing ember....That's when I started to worry a bit and asked you guys for advice. I sincerely thank you for taking your time off to give me hints.....But alas, to no avail, right just now, at 10 p.m, the final spark sputtered and died. I sent her an email asking why is she so busy all the time and when exactly is she free, and instead of "Oh, sorry I'm busy....blah...blah".... it's "Yes. I'm busy. What is it??"

That's when I realize that what little chance I have is lost. Sigh......sorry guys, seems like I can't entertain you fellas any further with this romance fairy tale. I tried, but she's so busy all the time.....or so she says. I mean, it's impossible for someone to be busy ALL the time, right? It's not like she's a bee or an insect with wings.....hmm, she does have a sting though.

Call it cruel coincidence but ...... remember the girl I rejected last year? She and this 'busy' girl share the same family name, Satou. And if that is not interesting enough, Satou in Japanese can also mean 'sugar'.....but to me this 'sugar' taste bitter.

Sigh....well, that's the end of it. Now i'll have to crack my head and rig up another story to amuse myself. Anyway......

Hey!! A typhoon hit Okinawa!! Wow! What an interesting news, isn't it? Haha.....ha...hmm...still, nothing beats romance stories.........................

Cupid's arrow getting blunt......

Fellas, I am as shocked as you are when I saw that I have a comment from KKK. But rest assured, I'm no racist and neither is the commenter. Just a simple case of coincidence at it's best. But for those of you who knows who's KKK.....wow, what an irony!! Anyway, back to today's story.
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Okay....okay....this I need help from you fellas, ESPECIALLY girls to interpret what went on the last whole week and give me a little hint on what I should.....or most importantly shouldn't do.

What happen after the date was the expected exchange of SMS saying how much we enjoy the date and me asking if it's okay if I ask her out again and her saying it's ok with a smiley attached.

Now that was Friday....

I had stuff to busy myself so i didn't contact her on Saturday and Sunday.... but on Monday, I sent her a SMS asking if I could meet her for a while after class. Turned out that she have an assignment due the next day. So, I politely apologise for interrupting her assignment.

I didn't msg her on Tuesday cause' we have a club meeting on Wednesday. But....she didn't turn up that day. Why? Reason remain unknown for some other unknown reasons....Anyway, I did msg her just now. Msg was mainly saying hello, how are you and other small talks. Tried asking her out on Sunday but she said she's going back home this Sunday. Btw,I can't help but notice how she kept her replies short. Realising that, I bid her good night and "Happy going back...." kinda stuff.

So? Am I in trouble or am I thinking too much?

Right now, I can't help but feel like I'm drowning in regret that I should have forwarded all those "send to * number of people within 1 hour or suffer 10 years of loveless life...." chain letters.